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Towela Kams Mar 2015
"I Wasn't Ready" by J. Andre

As I was tying my shoes, buttoning my shirt, took my wallet just to be alert, 'cause we all know some girls like the money, I never knew I wasn't ready.

As I put on my coat for courage to keep warm in this cold world, as I made sure my face looked pretty 'cause girls love guys who have beauty on the outside I've been told, I never knew I wasn't ready.

As I met her at the corner of the shopping mall with her outstanding beauty, LOL I'm using words my grade 1 teacher would grade me with, I never knew I wasn't ready.

I could see and hear all the warning signs:
"Don't go there!!"
"May become too dangerous!!"
Still, it didn't click to me, I never knew I wasn't ready.

I kept on persisting and chasing after her till she was my girl, me getting access through the danger zone would not only hurt me, but change me.
Not physically, but mentally.
Not fast, but slowly.

I changed from who I was to who I wasn't supposed to be. I couldn't take the burden unlike camels in the desert standing the burning, I knew I wasn't ready to be with someone who would change me and drive me to the pit of hell without my seat belt on..

But all I decided to do was stay, maybe because of the insecurities of this world.
No, because I had to make a decision quick that I hadn't taken a course for, I now knew, I wasn't ready..
True or nah?
Towela Kams Mar 2015
Forgive me for my insecurities,
For hiding the very best parts of me.
Sometimes, insecurity is just a tiny voice that deceives you into hiding your perfections.
Towela Kams Feb 2015
The doorstep of my heart hadn't been disturbed in a while.
No one took my heart's doorstep seriously anymore.
It had been covered in layers of dust and a tad of spider webs lay in each corner.
A reminder of my misfortune.
There dust was piles one layer on top of the other - no footsteps, no trails, no signs of visitors.
In my darkest times, I wondered where the ones who once entered this forbidden sacred hiding had fled to.
I felt obligated to question the existence of such a warm house if no one had taken notice of it's worth.
It was no common ground for any person going about his business.
Anyone who had been between the yards of it's foundations would know that it held secrets that were sworn to never be told.
And anyone who had pledged to such secrecy was liable to a fine.
A fine of being banished from this sacred place.

**Trick a heart like mine to trust you and it will show you why you shouldn't have led it on in the first place.
I'm trying to write a series here. I'll try update it like every chance I get. Share your views! So look out!
  Feb 2015 Towela Kams
If i could get my time back
In this world of wonder, I would
But if God wants me to be one of his flock
In the promise paradise, I should

I've been your companion
Since you're a little minion
Taught you the basics
and eventually, how to live life full of sh*ts

Together with your mother
We traveled the world full of wonder
Little by little, you've grown to ponder
Creating memories we'll cherish forever

But as the world seems so perfect
Problems in our life started to inject
I'd known though that this day will happen
So before this day's sad finale
I want to assure that you'd understand true life's lessons

If you've ever felt alone in this world
Just remember the person who'll be there for you instead
The special someone would always be there
Every time, everywhere

I know it's hard to say goodbye
In times we exactly don't know why
But, Child
You know how much i want you to take care
Cause the world can be fascinating
But i'll can hit you until you start grieving

In your life i served as your father
The one who loved you and your sweetest mother
But we all have the time when we needed to go
Leaving each and everyone we'd know
But don't worry dear cause we'll see each other again
In the paradise of the Almighty God, we just don't know when
People are aware that there could be a time when someone needs to leave even in the time of delight. Saying "goodbye" one last time. But the word doesn't seem right. It should be "see you soon",  you know why?  Cause God won't let the love of the family, friends, or special someone be separated by death, especially in heaven.
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