don't you think it's completely wrong to tell a girl she is being "way to much of a girl"
don't you think its merely disgusting to tell someone they are way too happy
and isn't time you stopped being bitter for the sake of other people laughing when you can barley crack a smile

see I've been there, done that and comments have come and go,
and everyone seems to tell you to be a woman.
to be prim and proper,
to have the posture of a princess and the mouth of a doll
(see because dolls only talk when you make them and the only words that escape their mouth are the ones you want)
everyone tells you to take that frown that takes so many more muscles to produce and turn it into some fake smile and laugh every single moment off as if the world was your oyster,
(which i never understood, because who likes oysters anyway?)

and now you see, i took the worlds advice and now look at me, being criticized left and right and left and right once again,
just for being what i was taught to be when i was a tomboy with dirt under my nails and basketball shorts over my knees and hair slicked back in a braid
for laughing about things i would've never found humorous when i would cry almost every day over some vacuous boy who I invested my fickle heart in (but from that experience i learned not to believe someone when they say those three words that are commonly overused in a fourteen year old's dictionary of phrases)

and now before you spew out venom from your mouth which is connected to your pea sized brain,
i suggest you to replay the little broken record inside your brain promoting the anthem of "self love and no self deprecation, you are beautiful just the way you are! you deserve to be happy!" before you tell anyone that they need to stop laughing, stop being such a woman, and stop being so happy.
think before you teach.

The best places are hidden
like stones in central park
secret roof top not
accessible except
for the morning staff
overnight, the sheer weight
of moonlight
paralleling through a Brooklyn
window pours on
to a frozen floor of
patterned tiles
where touches are like
turning on a lamp
dimly at first. Flickers
a bit then
bright as Chicago (1871)

I find it funny how
just a few words
just a few actions
can break us all in ways
we never knew was possible
can change us all in ways we
never knew was possible

and yeah
people tell us over and over
again that it's going to get
better but when
when is it going to get better
and what if it never does
what if you constantly do things
to hurt yourself
what if you constantly get with that
one guy who you know will break you
sooner or later but you don't care
because you are willing to do anything
to feel anything but your
******* sadness
because you cant take it anymore
you can't spend another
night alone crying
another night asking yourself if it's all ******* worth it
if life is worth the hurt
and those nights
you've spent debating if
everything would just
stop hurting if you just took
your life away

just one shot to the head
just one small leap off a chair
and on to the rope
so simple
so easy

I find it funny how
humans are capable of
such cruelty
how humans can cause such discomfort
to another without giving a ****
how you're smiling while my
soul is rotting away