It's like sitting in a boat
and trying to set myself on fire: half-
hearted apologies made me a full
ocean to drown in.
A foot out the door only
lets the light in; some-
how I let you creep
in and now I don't know how
to let myself out
of a maze I didn't mean to design around me
more like a drawer full of clothes
that could maybe hide the shame I
tend to carry;
I am used to the guilt
of having had someone
fall in love with you like
it was an act of charity.
I was within you,
without you
ever knowing the way a heart works.
It is not muscle that'll atrophy of disuse,
it could only maybe
break like Schrodinger's vial
and **** you.
I sit here listening to the clocks of our house
out of sync:
sometimes I was always
a second too late.
I feel lost in these ticks
and these tocks
of all the time we lost; I
was within you,
without
you.

Then the night falls, and the cold winds
blow your whispers away
try to catch just one, to savior in my head
but my hands froze instead
we tryed to compromise, a hardy give and take
there was no middle, just the divide you made

the restlees heart , you posses
that passion won't rest
till the colors of your portrait is set
and you rise above the rest

such a burden, you've endured
leave us now, leave us later
twisting in the wind of your mind
you have no cure, uncertaintly for sure

so have another taste, sip another sip
don't be afraid to blink, its not yours to
think of what you might have missed
the past you've already dismissed

You may not have been birthed in the soil,
and granted,
you will not blossom
when spring melts winters wake
but inside of you
grows a thousand gardens
full of exploding stars.
You are of the earth
and your ashes
have been constructed with stardust,
and set free with the wind.
So you may not have a pretty face,
and your body may hold stories
of too many moonless nights alone.
But if you reach inside,
you will find a forest
for a ribcage
and a restless ocean heart.
So don't ever let anyone tell you
you are nothing.
You are a galaxy
holding a million different planets,
and my dear,
that is not nothing.

Sometimes we feel like we have no idea where we're going.
We question ourselves but can't give the answers.
I think perhaps life cycles around.
In all things.
Whether it's lifestyle or hobbies or love.
Reminders to us of where we were and how we felt while we were there.
Rare times it's to let us know there is some unfinished business we should take hold of.
Gain that inspiration back for things we've neglected.
Things that are a part of our creative being.
Most of the time though,
Those reappearing tokens come to give us closure.
To make us aware when we've seemed to get lost off our paths.
We all get so caught up in small fragments of the here and now.
We forget to breathe and take in the big picture landscape we've created.
We feel lost.
Then something or someone comes back into our view.
But it's never the same as it was when we first endeavored there.
There's a reason for that.
As elusive as the message can be,
We believe we're to pick up where we left off.
It's unsettling and thrilling and we jump head first.
If only we realized we can't hold ghosts.
These things come as only subconscious reminders.
Sometimes we need a push open our eyes to our own selves.
We spend time figuring out how to add these things back into our lives.
The thing is though they were already there.
They never left.
That is the point though.
Every experience stays with us in varying degrees of effect.
We are molded by them and define ourselves in pieces.
We forget while we collect parts of us we always stay whole.
So those come agains are a way to help us recognise that.
We aren't meant to travel down that road again.
We don't need to delve into that routine again.
We need to see that we have grown from all of it.
Every step in that staircase leads to the house of you.
Without those conjoining moments we would be stuck still.
It's all in the process of becoming.
See who you are now and be grateful.
When life cycles back and brings you living memories remember
They are just memories, never duplicated.
They are the starting places of what allowed you to grow.
Keep climbing.
It's easy to want to fall back.
But like a tide shifting you'll only land on sand and miss the natural current.
So only look back to gauge how far you've come.
And keep moving.


*©NDHK

so elegant and strong she seems
as she takes her seat
an aura of calmness surrounds me
the sweet hello from her lips
renders me weak
her intellegent thoughts
humble an ignorant man
yet her vulnerbilities she cannot hide
her words are a guiding lite for all to hear
take them, absorb them, apply them
for she wishes you all the best
I'm honored to call her my friend

at the end of day, when emotions are drained
and ole sol has relinquished to the night
the brain stimulates in vain
yet the heart wants to rest, relieve some pain
the eyes just stare, in silent reflection
waiting for darkness to shield their moisture
there's a reoccuring theme, wanting a connection
as we ponder all of our expectations
life is just a rough draft, as the poets contend
the rewrites are many and a certant constant
we hold our thoughts, as the mind bends
not knowing what message we should send

I can only remember this part...

Maybe a lucid dream hope I've gone to bed with every night.
Perhaps a sleeping memory.

You...
Running your fingers a hairs breadth away from my skin.

Traveling carefully...
From my forehead down to my tinted cheek,
Moving the curls that had been in the way as we talked.

You gently pulled back your hand,
As if, not to offend me by its retreat to your pocket.

You murmured an apology to yourself and I could only muster half a laugh...

Partly because of the endearing gesture,
Also... the surprise of your touch.

You spoke up louder after a second, all the while staring at me with a misplaced bewilderment in your eyes.

"That's what scares me about you" is what finally materialized through the cold fogged breathes our impromptu conversation inspired.

And..

I didn't know if you meant the idea of it,
Or the realization of the fall.



*©NDHK

Bodies move
Hands touch
Dance floor full
No one else exist
Only two lovers
Eyes connect
Heart race
Song ends
Still holding on
Never let go
Next song begins
Start the dance all over again