svdgrl

svdgrl Jan 2016

I remember the day you said,
"Ah, yours is a familiar face."
It was summer,
we were ripe.
I drew yours in many lines.
That look littered all of my books-
and burned scars into my mind.
Now some time,
and it's bitter cold.
Yours has become lost and old.
I try to pull the lines together
every single chilly night.
I look at the photos I have left
and I still can't get it right.
Her face keeps blocking my view.
She has come and taken you.
Ah, yours was a familiar face.
But now it's all but a trace.

#pain #betrayal #forgetting

svdgrl Dec 2015

Sweet Silent Solitude

I feel the colors on my wall
those silent memories of mine.
In touch with the organized mess
I've surrounded myself with.
My finger tips glide and create
presents for me to look at.
Perhaps I'll share them
when I wish to see smiles
and connect with someone
while looking to listen
to the needs of beautiful people.
The taste of pizza
lingers on my lips
like my favorite lyrics.
Tomato kiss myself to satiation.
I'll moan in gluttonous relief.
I've got a library scattered
amongst my sheets,
smells of distant worlds.
Pages that take me
to perfumed forests and
putrid blood baths.
There's no need
for the sensory deprivation
that I've once endured.
Though lonely at times,
my room is true comfort
in solitude.

#alone #solitude #singlelife

svdgrl Dec 2015

Talk of a Queen

Can't teach a forgiven sinner,
how to repent for their mistakes.
Grace them with my presence
and they'll return to their snakes.
They'll say they're sorry,
and then stay the same.
I'll let them in,
and they'll slander my name.
I am not a god, I hold a standard.
Match it and be equal,
fall short and be abandoned.

#betrayal #queen #shapeup

svdgrl Dec 2015

Untitled

I cannot wait until the thought of you
only awakens moths in a dusty place
and nothing close to the tremors you leave in your wake,
today.
I cannot wait until I see your trace,
and don't see your face.
and when I hear the echoes of a most familiar place,
I won't shake.
I won't feel the quake.
I'll smile and look onto sacred vows I gave myself,
I won't let myself go.
I'm important for just anyone else to hold.
You could not come two feet within my distance,
not just for wisdom, though the bounty for your fists
are worth two million.
And the rest of you is priceless.
But I've lost interest in the hunt.
I take my bow and shun all that chase a runt,
a half-man,
a troll
like you.
You had the appearance of a king,
with a love that had skewed
and a brain that renewed
thoughts that made you brood,
on every individual man that had came in your place before
you never felt that you evened the score,
until you cheated.
And now here you are,
speaking to me as if you were defeated.
Enjoy her.
Good night.
Stop wishing for me.
You only ask when she's not enough.
I'm just done with this stuff.
It's bland.
It's done.
Out of sight.
Good night.

svdgrl Dec 2015

Recovering

There are few words of substance to be said.
I won't reinforce the violence.
There are some terrifying acts
I could concoct when I'm thinking of her.
But I have taste.
Class.
Shame, even.
I can't fall into her category of betrayal.
I won't stoop down that deep.
I'll keep it to myself,
and dump out the stew.
With everyone I embrace, I'll forget about you.
Conscious.
What does it mean any way?
Friendship.
Who needs the glamor?
I stammer when I say your name-
but realize that your claim to fame
was a ******* child-
you couldn't be a good father.
You held your music like a baby
but tossed it out like a bother.
Uttering this, as you called her.
She called you.
You kissed her.
No, she kissed you.
You don't love her.
But she loves you.
This isn't the last one, I gasp,
and take the card and cookies that you gave me,
on the day that we turned two
drop tears on them
like suicide bombs and
toss them in the dust bin.
This just in,
this trust is
demolished and disgusting.
****** with ample shine,
Like the muck thats left behind
when a porter-***** by a tree is cracked,
and all that's done to clean it up-
is the dumping of icewater.
Washed us away for a bit-
but there's still this ****.
I feel it seep into my soils.
I wont let it reach my roots.
I need to grow and shoot
up to the sky away from you
and her
and thoughts of you
and her
I can't seem to get too far from you
and her
My branches reach up to the clouds,
hold me once again "doubt."
Let me be your baby,
let me stop and shout.
I keep falling down.
I'll rise again, then drown,
in this filthy water.
No-
There are flowers in the future.
I can smell them now.

#love #betrayal #movingon #recovery

svdgrl Dec 2015

I can't even meet anyone...

Everywhere I go-
I'm just looking for a version of you
that won't rip my heart into shreds,
and try to kiss it back together.
I can't seem to find him.
I guess it's innately you,
to be rough hands
gloved in sweet milk.
And I've become lactose intolerant,
and so very alone.

#love #heartbreak #betrayal

svdgrl Dec 2015

Untitled

Despite all of our desires,
the anger I feel
cannot be quelled by smashing her face in.
There isn't a possible way
she could feel the pain I'm in.
She did not build two years-
loyal and resilient.
She did not fret over the moments,
or condemn herself for the sins.
She does not feel remorse
at least on the surface.
She will be a non factor-
after I finish writing this.
No more checking on her,
ignorance is.
No more cringing at her comments
on those photos of his.
No more letting the desire
to separate the two *****.
The toilet should **** her in,
and keep her down where she should live.
No more watching it spit back up.
Jiggle handles and don't give a ****.
Goodbye hammers.
****** face.
She's now gone out of this place.
My sweetest is revenge,
is to let her go.
Let her reign
and not let her know.

#anger #betrayal #on #disgust #moving