From the depths of my abandoned hands
I weave my heart together
Like twisted gold
Mending lost spirits and opening
To what was lost
And all that could be
I know that what's left
I keep thinking that if I disappeared, my life will cease to exists and maybe then, i’ll be free. I’m wanting to fly with eagles and taste the sweetness of clouds. Angels sing to me the secret songs of hidden treasures left in the pit of my soul.. “stay a bit longer” echoes through me & it's the promise of tomorrow that fuels the air in my lungs.
One day, it'll be better.
Wicked are the ways your hands caress my frame and the picture of our limbs intertwined are placed on the same wall you've pinned me on once before.
I am my own.
I belong to noone.
but when you ask me
Who's is it?
I crumble at your feet.
You scatter broken parts of me in the grooves of your mind
and the cut on my lips placed by the sharp sword of your name had never felt so good.
you don't see me.
You admire the crimson that pours from my mouth and a jealous rage ignites within me- If only my heart could keep your gaze longer than my lips ever could.
I once found myself wanting to compress myself down to something so small & it was the satisfaction of being craved in the worst of ways from another that kept me from embracing all of myself, even the parts deemed "too hard" to want. I've grown up a lot since then but this is for my younger self and even someone who may be going through it now. You won't always be "Thiers".... one day, you'll be your own.
I promise to love you fiercely
I promise to love you whole
but I won't defuse the flames of my passion to accommodate to your fear of fire
in the crevice between the sky
and the ocean
this is where my soul lay open
my body burnt away
from the sun's embrace
while gentle kisses from the waves
keep my mind at ease
and in a peaceful slumber
i'm reminded of the pain
i desperately try to keep in
"you're ok. we'll keep you safe. let go young child. wash your fears away"
i am loved.
i don't recall the day that you left
but i've been cold since the discovery of your absence
parts of me crave your acknowledgment
while the other half fends for itself
and i'm forced to pretend light still lives here
i wonder how much longer i can go
until the tears i cry for you
spill over and all that's left is the cage
that once housed my soul
denial brings me comfort and every night i fall
into the dried flowers and broken glass that fills my being
self love, i miss you
love doesn't live here anymore...
what I tell myself as I pick dead rose petals from the ground
I keep them in a jar by my windowsill when it rains-
because even the fallen deserve a view of angels crying
— The End —