there are nights when you feel more trainwreck than person and far too many reasons why to count
and your brain is an old house held together by spiderwebs
they cling to the corners with the dust that spurs your allergies
but you can just take medicine for that
this, this is different,
you can feel the collision,
you know you're headed straight for it top speed because you're running from a past you didn't choose, from a past that haunts you, from the fact that you never had the chance
and it's chasing, grabbing for your ankles while you pray you don't trip
praying you don't slow down
but this house in your head is heavy
and the voice rings out what now? but it's not that easy, see, because when you're not good enough for your mother it's because your just like your father like you swore you'd never be, and the anger that follow says you could be worse, you could be your brother, you could be the monster under your bed and in your closet dripping poison and ***** hands, you could be the anger that swells in your chest, electric, chaotic, burning, building, suffocating,
you could be so much worse, you could be everything they see you to be, you could be the thunder and the lightning and the gun that goes off, you could be darkness that festers in the corner, but then again, aren't you?
you could be the dead body she fears to find, the 911 call, the nightmare, the inevitability,
but then again, aren't you?
accelerating to the point of contact, hit the wall, hit the wall, we're all waiting for the fire
one swipe catches your heel from You Never Had A Chance,
and you're stumbling
and it overtakes you, all at once
the web always links one thing to another and you're overtaken,
and all this
from a raised voice