My heart is pockmarked
Like the face of the moon
Oh, from loving you
And you and you

The craters on my heart
Left, from the massive destruction
Of giving so much
In return, receiving nothing

From a distance
My love appears whole
But those pieces have been lost
Oh, to you
And you and you

Are hearts really pink?
Mine feels black and blue
Oh, from you
And you and you

My heart's fire
Burns passionately around the blackened craters
Oh, not for you
And you and you.

If you must breathe
Do it deeply

If you must cry
Do it openly

If you must laugh
Do it heartily

If you must run
Run with me

If you must hide
Hide in me

If you must believe
Believe in me

If you must,
And you must,
Do so now.

your words leave me as cold and as empty as the night sky
your love as distant and dark as a new moon
and my memories of you, scattered and sparkling like a million stars
pale imitations
of the bright
full moon you used to be
but isn't your light
that i so admire
just a reflection
of my own desire?
my own mirage?
my own purgatory
before the paradise?
will you ever be
that full moon again?
shining down so brightly
a smiling face
watching over me
but oh
i feel so lonely
just looking at you

"Honey, you're a boy.
You can't play with your sisters."
My mom said
As she makes me play alone
Because making sure a boy doesn't play with a Barbie is better than making sure he actually plays at all.


"Come on. Take it like a man."
My 6th grade classmate said
As he shoves me on my desk
Because I ****** at our basketball match that I didn't even want to take part of.
When my friend asked the teacher to stop my bully
She looked up from her book and said
"Boys will be boys. They'll be laughing it out later on"
But I didn't laugh. I haven't for a while


"You're a young man now. And young men don't cry"
My dad said
As he puts an ice over my bruised up eye
Maybe I should tell him that I'm not crying because it hurts
I'm crying because I have to go to school with the ones who did it
But I didn't. He'll just tell me to be tough again.


"Come on, you're a guy. Shouldn't you be out on a Friday night?"
My dad asked
As he grabbed the book that I'm reading and force me to go out with my "friends" that he didn't know I don't have.


"Seriously? Oh my god you are such a guy."
My sister said as I turned down her offer to shop at the mall
I really just didn't want to do anything
But hey, at least now I'm a boy.


"It's like being in a relationship with a robot. And quite frankly. I'm done"
My girlfriend,
I mean ex girlfriend,
say as she slams the door on her way out of my room
What if I told her I was just so used to it
Not letting my emotion out
Be tough
But she wouldn't understand
I'm not really sure if I even do understand.


"Come on. You're a guy right? You like this."
The random girl I met at this party said
As she pushed me down on the bed and starts unbuttoning my shirt
I don't want to
I wanna say
But I didn't
Because she was right
I'm a guy
I like this
I should like this

But I don't


"Why don't you try to get along with your sisters? They're your sisters for crying out loud!"
My mom said as she washes the dishes
Maybe because I never had the chance to be close to them
To actually get to know them
I want to say
No
I wanted to yell

But I never did

Because guys don't rant to their moms.

Guys should love *** and they can never get enough.


Guys shouldn't talk about their feelings.


Boys will be boys
right?

don't write a poem
for me
it would be pointless,
it would be
a paradox
to try
to give beauty
to something
so ugly