I didn't realise these demons existed
An infectious glaze inside my head
Black holes whirling, my mind twisted
Who am i with a heart coated in lead

Do I deceive myself
Have I lied my way through
My soul torn out and sat upon a shelf
In my reflection, all I can say is
"Who the **** are you"

i can't muffle this sadness
in pretty words anymore
it screams too loud and
tears apart
all these red-inked pages
with a vengeance of the forgotten
demons don't like to be
denied
and it's january again already
as if rubbing my hands warmer
will melt the icicles lining
my spine
inching up to my collarbone
every day a little colder
god
how am i still alive

there is no beauty in dying this way

Another one exploded in their mouths.
Nostalgia.
They're dead.

god, please
i just want to breathe
in the written and the unsaid
again

teach me
to speak in ink and lines
teach me to
string songs in the silence of the mind
and paint colors in strokes of black
i recognize

i miss tracing rain on paper with the tip of a fountain
pen
i miss painting red at 4 am
i miss hearing thunder at the turn
of a page
i miss screaming truth in margin space

and i miss how these demons are a little
beautiful
when caged between spiral spines
and pretty poetry

A new year
A new day
What do you expect me to say
I have hope for the new year?
I'm overflowing with cheer?
Neither are true
I'm feeling just as blue
Nothing is different
Nothing has changed
Why do I buy into this hype
Of great things to come
Of a sweet stary night
Just another day
Not going my way
I'll have to wait till 3003
I'll be dead, I'll be free

She looked in the mirror,
Looked back the sad reflection,
Told her to stay strong,
Oh, where did she go wrong?

Tears fell as she closed her eyes,
Through the tear stained face,
Just smile, she said to herself,
Wanting the tears to leave no trace.

Opened her eyes,
Saw a little smile,
The reflection spoke,
Her inner voice awoke.

The reflection began to speak,
She was no longer feeling weak,
''Don't let them know inside you're grey,
Just tell them you are not a prey.

The beautiful smile,
Use it as a tool,
Be strong for a while,
For the world you always fool.''



-SaniaOpai