i take the flower by the hand

she guides me slowly and gingerly

i feel lost in the folds of her dress

she swallows the key whole

i am drowned by the beauty

of the distress and destruction

in the womb of worldly possessions

and distractions.

when can we go home?

maybe role-playing isn't for us

because i like to be me

when i'm loving you.

i love you to the ends of the earth,

because the earth is never-ending.

dear self,

you cannot save everyone.

he is a snake-
making his way
curiously, furiously,

into my life,
into my mind,
into my dreams;

and i won't allow it.

i didn't know i was lonely

until i saw your name.

on a concrete island
in the middle of the ocean,

i put the metal hook around my neck;
chained to my failures.

it quickly began to sink,
pulling me down
into the deep sea wreckage.

i felt myself falling
to the bottom of the ocean.
i knew i was drowning,
penetrated by the invasive waters.

i didn't fight it at first;
i swam in slow motion,
not looking at the black mass
beneath my vertical body.

the judgmental creatures
watched my human figure crawl
towards the layer of oxygen.

my head crest the surface,
air swimming into my open lungs,
becoming a piece of my insides,
integrating itself with my cells.

i swam back to the concrete island,
and resumed my position.
sitting, and waiting.