I am a cactus
my body covered in spikes
all I wanted
was a hug
but I hurt people
when they got to close
stabbing them with my spikes
it was never my intention
to wound them
but nevertheless
it happened
after I stabbed my loved ones
with my spikes
they left
and I was there
all alone
with an ache in my chest
I was so lonely
and I wanted a hug
but if someone tried to hug me
they got hurt
and left
I don't want to cause pain
but that is how I
was made
made to be destructive
and alone
I don't want to be this way
but what is a cactus
without it's spikes

my chest tightens
and my mind races
I overthink every interaction
and where it all went wrong
maybe I'm reading too much
into it
or maybe you're distant
and it's my fault
I never wanted to rush you
and now
I've lost you

I dismembered myself
trying to find
which parts aren't loveable
which parts made everyone leave

poetry is the quiddity of me
it is so intertwined with my soul
that it is woven into my heart
I could never abandon this
it is my other half
it is me
words flow from my mind
and onto paper or a screen
it is part of me
poetry is the quiddity of me

adoration
deep love and respect
I adore you and
your creativity

passion
strong and barely controllable emotion
I am passionate about you
and your way with words

fondness
affection for someone
I am fond of you
and your smile

tenderness
feelings of affection
I have a tenderness for you
and your ability to
bare your soul to me

the world can be pulchritudinous
kindness flowing through
the veins of people
acts of charity
without asking for something in return
compliments told to others
to brighten up their day
donations to fundraisers
to help those in need
the world can be evil
but let's focus on the
pulchritudinous parts of the world
otherwise we'll lose hope in
humanity
and go insane
look at the pulchritudinous
aspects of the world

my space
meticulous or disorderly
my bed
neatly made or blankets rumpled
my floor
spotless or cluttered
my desk
organized or chaotic
my clothes
neat or piled up
my thoughts
calm or rioting