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As my thoughts wander,
after a night drunk on you,
I realize I can't remember a time where I didn't love you.

Not since that first conversation
seeing you shimmer
in the movie like snow
that stuck to us as we waited.

I was waiting,
I guess part of me always will be,
For that moment,
when I know it's safe to tell you,
You're the only person in the world,
I'd spend the rest of my life waiting for.

But my fear gets the best of me every time.

So I talk in questions
Sometimes just stay silent
Live in my head,
Swimming in the thoughts you inspire,
Wishing I had notation at the ready,
to get everything down,
but I only get pieces of it,
like you.

Just enough to keep wanting more
but never enough to satiate my need.

I wonder what it would feel like to take the dive,
headlong into you,
to throw caution to the wind
and stop caring what happens to me after.
Simply live in the now.

In the tangible current
that surges between us.
The feel of your lips on mine.
The fear that the world might catch fire,
through flaws in its structure,
or flaws in our structure,
in our inability to follow any rules.
"**** the Man. save The Empire."

I'm too tired to function,
but my brain is on auto you.

I wish I could shut it off.
 Aug 2018 The Non-Poet
skyler
a sad soul whispers
i wish i never met you
to the demon in the empty room
and it replies
with a voice that flows thick and sweet
almost suffocating
but darling you created me
and it laughs as her tears hit the sheets
and it sounds just like him
you do this to yourself
she can smell his cologne on its breath as it leans closer
he doesn't care and neither do i, no one does
it blinks and it's eyes turn as blue as his
she tries to look away but it grabs her cheeks so she gets one last good look at what she tries to forget
it won't let her forget
he won't let her forget
then it dissipates into the lonely space
but the weight never leaves the air

s.s
 Aug 2018 The Non-Poet
skyler
fun
 Aug 2018 The Non-Poet
skyler
fun
a little liquid courage
and foreign places
i dabbled in the art
of being flirtatious
slip on my sun dress
and smile wide
friendly introductions
and darting eyes
this feels like a game
and i'm a tease
but at the end of the night
let's have fun, won't you please

s.s
 Jul 2018 The Non-Poet
skyler
she sat in the sand watching the sun slip below the horizon and thought the words she couldn’t say to him

i wish it would have turned out differently. if i had a different home life or he didn’t think so much. maybe if we had less lonely souls or could turn back time we wouldn’t be where we are now. i wish it wouldn’t have ended the way it did. i never wanted it to end with the thoughts i give up i can’t do it anymore in my head, but now i have no idea what’s in his head and i would love nothing more than to understand his thoughts again. i can’t stand the confusion and mixed signals. i don’t know what i ever was to him, let alone what i am now. we are broken kids in different ways and all i know is that we melted together so well; he made me feel less broken. i just don’t understand why the universe would put two people together that can’t seem to be with each other because my god it’s so much harder to get over someone you’re still in love with, but i suppose that’s how life is huh, complicated.

s.s
just bittersweet confused thoughts I’m sorry
 Jul 2018 The Non-Poet
skyler
nobody
 Jul 2018 The Non-Poet
skyler
i was told
to make my body
my home
so i painted
embarrassment
on the walls
and hung
hate
from the ceilings
i am uncomfortable
in this home
and the image i see
saddens me
because this home
is messy
and the other girls
are pristine

s.s
 Jul 2018 The Non-Poet
skyler
darling, you don't miss me
you miss the attention

s.s
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