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Alexis K Apr 2019
More often than Not.
I am in my own thoughts.

They tend to freak me out.
They always make me doubt.

I doubt myself,
I doubt everyone else.

I doubt my friends,
And I wonder when we will end.

And when I'm in a group,
I simply turn to soup.

I move wherever they push me,
and absently agree.

I when I try to talk,
I mess up so much they gawk.

When someone says I am easy to get along with,
I dont tell them its because I am liquid, sliding along their width.

I simply go with the flow,
Allowing them to think they know.
Alexis K Apr 2019
She thought we loved her cooking
And I didn't like to lie,
but could you just tell your grandma
"I really dislike this potpie."?

The cooked carrot and soft noodles.
It was like deconstructed *** pie.
The celery and stringy chicken.
She loved that dish, but most definitely not I.

We almost always had it,
ladled into a bowl, the smell well known.
The creamy pasta was deceiving,
the taste...well, i wish my taste buds were out on loan.

But she'd smile at us,
we'd smile at her,
we wouldn't say a word
and we would watch tv with her

I wish I could taste that concoction again,
I would eat the whole bowl.
How I wish I could hear the clanging of her cooking.
Cooking of the food I would swallow whole.
Because the dish is even worse now that she cant make it.
May as well be eating coal.
One can only wish for the stupid, stinky, lovely dish.
Alexis K Apr 2019
Sunday I worked early in the morning. I did nothing more.
Monday I went to school, then to my hotel where my keycard wouldn't open my door.
Tuesday I competed in my contest, thought I did quite well.
Wednesday we got the results and I went swimming. Turns out I didnt do so swell.
Thursday I went to school again, then I went to work. I learned night shift.
Friday I didnt have school, so instead I did nothing but sit.
Saturday I worked the morning then sat down to write. I still dont know what I'm writing or if this a good bit.
Alexis K Apr 2019
"You need a good education to live a full and happy life."
                  "You'll never make it without a degree."
                                 "Be reasonable."
                                          "Have a plan B."
                                                     "Be realistic."

What's realistic to me is different than what's realistic to you.
        I don't want a plan B, my heart is set on one thing.
               If being reasonable means working a dead end job,
                     consider me the contrary.
                            No degree means no me? What about Brian Adams,
                                Adele, David Bowe, Thomas Edison and even
                                    nine US presidents with no degree and
                                       amazing lives.
                                         Some people I know dropped out of high
                                          school, barely know how to sign their name
                                        and living their lives to the fullest.

So do not tell me what to do or who I am or who I have to be.
         I will be me, even if that means I am a starving artist at fifty-
             three.
                 Even if that means I am couch surfing half my life while
                     finding my dream job.
                         Even if that means I am unrealistically hopeful my
                             whole life.
                                At least I am not a pessimistic, discouraging, sad
                                    being. Like you want me to be.
Alexis K Mar 2019
I try to write
poems, stories, and songs
All I want to do is express myself
Yet none are strong

Nothing is good enough
It doesn't express my feelings
It's way too tough

But
I suppose that means
It perfectly represents me
Simply, not good enough
Alexis K Jan 2019
Sometimes I wonder
If this world is just a blunder
If one day
We'll all be escorted away

Sometimes I hope
That's there's somewhere better
We will all stay
Till the world's been cleansed with soap

Sometimes I desire
For this world to die.
So that we can rebuild
Without all the smoke and fire

It's not just the people
But the buildings they make
That break our beautiful world down
Until it's all fake.
Alexis K Dec 2018
Forget world peace.
Create peace,
In AMERICA
There's too much hate here for us be peaceful everywhere
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