~

Influences corner me
on a narrow strip of land
falling off into a sea of uncertainty
Raging waters reflecting fear
desperately deep

Toxic tides reach for me,
attempting to drag me under
Spilling breaths on uncharted beaches
I fall to my knees lost…searching
for merely the tiniest thread of hope

When a rope, strung of woven longings
appears, tied tightly around your heart,
hand knotted of promises made
and gasping, I pull myself once again
to the safe haven of your love

I'm lost in the dark
No one there to hear
My cries and screams
Reach no ones ear

I see you all
Standing there
But none of you
Seem to care

Am I worth nothing
Is my life a crime
A black spot on humanity
A little piece of grime

Am I nothing
A bad wast of air
The unwanted third part
Of a happy pair

Just a rag doll
Toss me to the side
Leave me far behind
Lengthen your stride

Later when you say sorry
It won't mean a thing
Hollow words, through my ears
Don't even make a ring

When you beg forgiveness
I will have none left
Because of everything you've done
My last wasted like the rest

I took your crap
I smiled hiding tears
You leaving was my nightmares
Your death was all my fears

But my loyalty is gone
I have no tears to shed
And when you starve and beg
I will give you no bread

To long did I make
Your problems my own
To long for you I cried
The tears you've never shown

I leave you know
When you want me back
Old friend leave
Here's your pack

I want you out
I want you gone
I'm sick of your games
I'm no longer your pawn

Tell me child
Child still pure
Child with mud brown eyes
What will you endure

Tell me small girl
With your hair all put up
Did you ever know you'd have
Something not juice in your cup

Tell small boy
Who runs in the sun
Did you ever know
Your friend would ruin your fun

Tell little kids
Did you see it in your dreams
The ugly mean future
And the pain that it brings

I've seen it you know
I watched your whole life
And I'll tell you right now
You never gave into the knife

You never gave up
You did good in school
You had plenty of friends
Even if you weren't cool

And even when you cry
And you don't think they care
Just ask them and check
Because they'll always be there

You may have felt lonely
But you were never alone
Your laughter to them
Like the sun shone

Live a whole life
I know you can
I'm the future you
And I'm your biggest fan

the air is suffocating
and all that I want
i cannot have because
the fear is too tall

as my heart sways
on a thin thread
don't let me have
one more fall

there are no more
moonlit nights
all that is left is
ashes on the wall

just stay beside me
speak no more because
with my final breath
**i give you my all