I want to be buried
beside the river
that drowns you.

-

The way the sky sits.
Our sleeves
wrapped in wind.
I kiss your lips.
You are my end.

-

Sequins and swans
on the dress of
the universe.
I want to be warmed
by the galaxy's grasp.

-

You are my water:
You move beside
and against me.

The sun is three planets away,
But you and I still burn like we live on it

"I'm content"
"Something's gonna happen, i don't know what it is, i feel it"
-------------------------------

three weeks later i'm sitting, wallowing in self pity,
mourning over a love that has gone sour
making cuts after cuts in my skin,
hoping you'll somehow feel it and hear my cry for help.

i carved the word "perfect" into my skin on November 17-18, 2012
hoping that despite everything that happened that day
i'd still feel perfect
or hoping that seeing it every day,
i'd start believing i'm
Pretty even when drowning in tears with swollen
Eyes that are filled with stars, stars that i often fail to see and that
Regardless of these scars that are etched into my skin, i am
Full of life and
Energy that is immortelle and
Contagious even though i always feel as if i can't go on and
Things are too much.

i guess what i'm trying to say is, i should've carved my name into your heart,
Hoping you'll
Always remember that
Someone like myself is hard to find so therefore
I'm yours always and you are mine and i'll
Never leave nor would i hurt you intentionally, and
Although it feels like we're drifting, i still want you here.

but the ice which we stood on which was our love
has broken,
and is melting and you're on one piece
and i'm on another and if we reach for each other,
we'll drown in the ocean of our love.
and i  don't know what i'm saying anymore,
because my eyes are getting cloudy and so is my mind
and all i can think of is you and if you'd cross that ocean for me.
(h.s)

9/8/14
with a toothbrush jammed down my throat,
i wonder what it feels like to touch your hand.
i wonder if you'd do that for me
just for these times, i promise

on the bus i placed my hand beside me
and waited exactly 3 minutes.
i wished something would happen.
after that, i realized.

my stomach, as if it were on fire,
i wonder why i did this.
which part of me did this,
and how do i ****** that part

i'm sorry it comes out in places i wish it didnt,
but it needs to go somewhere.
i know i have the sickness,
but we have to pretend that i don't

formless,
i find shape when the lights turn on again.
please don't do that.
please let me remain formless forever

i want to remove a lot of my face or maybe the whole thing

i now avoid drinking water and i figured out why
i dont like going to the bathroom because then i have to see more of my body
i love ****** up self esteems
they spice up life, truly

wow. wow ****
the number of times i think about suicide daily is increasing but its not really worrying at all so its okay
i hate the word suicide because theres too much to say about it.
you cant just mention it and get away with it

my mother doesnt like my poems and thats sad to me because they are the only thing i care about that i do.
i love crying next to computers
i just had a strong urge to break a glass cup

one time i yelled something while in my house alone and then threw up on the floor and broke a cabinet
my mother asked “why is this cabinet broken?” one week later
i said “i have no idea. i didnt even notice”
she tried to tape it up before her parents came over for dinner
at the table she mentioned i write great poems
one month later she said she didnt like what i write
hey can i get a glass of water
please hmu with some water im literally dehydrated
**** your goth baseball playing son

oh, wow, im screaming on this rock at sunset
im screaming about how much im in love with life
which is confusing to me because i am also yelling about how i want someone to shoot me in the chest
is this what being alive feels like
i dont like it
last night i had a dream that my friend was dying
but in a slow and visible way

call me and play 50’s music into the phone
or dont whatever
the cold weather will **** me in time anyways