i want to remove a lot of my face or maybe the whole thing

i now avoid drinking water and i figured out why
i dont like going to the bathroom because then i have to see more of my body
i love ****** up self esteems
they spice up life, truly

wow. wow ****
the number of times i think about suicide daily is increasing but its not really worrying at all so its okay
i hate the word suicide because theres too much to say about it.
you cant just mention it and get away with it

my mother doesnt like my poems and thats sad to me because they are the only thing i care about that i do.
i love crying next to computers
i just had a strong urge to break a glass cup

one time i yelled something while in my house alone and then threw up on the floor and broke a cabinet
my mother asked “why is this cabinet broken?” one week later
i said “i have no idea. i didnt even notice”
she tried to tape it up before her parents came over for dinner
at the table she mentioned i write great poems
one month later she said she didnt like what i write
hey can i get a glass of water
please hmu with some water im literally dehydrated
**** your goth baseball playing son