come home.

Bat your tall eyelashes away from me
Your kindness is strangling me




-LynnAA

you said you could hold the sun in your fist
and call nightingales when you were ******
that all the deceptions made it easier to trust
and you could see the stars leaking dust

you pulled out sections of your hair
raked your scalp, saying life was fair
and sank your teeth into my arm
saying it wouldn't cause me any harm

you broke the dish and crowed it fate
sent words forth to muddy the slate
and when I cried and begged for less
you told me I was a reckless mess

you carved up pieces, embraced the floor
told me I should have dreamt of more
I dried my tears and latched the gate
your truth whispered, it's far too late

you were the artist, painting colours on skin
sang words of love, such sweet impeccable sin
and some days I can't find where they end and I begin
despite escaping I still cradle you within.

I know you're bad for me
no, scratch that
I know you're killing me

Each time I breathe you in
I exhale as violently as I can
desperately compensating for my shame
But your dark fingerprints linger

I know that if I drink too much,
I will find you between my dry lips,
their cracks, formed by the action of spitting you out
providing inroads for your thick, stifling presence

Someone keeps writing about you in my notebook
but whoever it is seems scared to pen your name

You have become the monster under my bedsheets
and the creature that keeps me awake at night.
The one who reminds me I am no longer worthy-
not even a response leaves your lips as to why.
You make it seem like these hands
that have been holding you up for so long
are only just holding you back.
I want to feel like the sun-
not the candle you blow out
when the wax becomes unbalanced
or the room begins to smell nice again.
I want to feel like my presence in your world
means more than just nice words
and late nights of me by your bedside.
I need to know this isn't just a game for you-
that these feet and these eggshell punctured soles
have walked all this way to mean something to you.
I want to know I mean something to you.
But as of late I just feel like an empty box
patiently awaiting to filled with something special
but you just use it to prop your feet up.
Look outside the box-
see that I have been standing here heart in hand
for god only knows how long
and remember to dance with me.
If the sunlight isn't enough for you-
live inside your shade
become accustomed to darkness.
Just remember-
turn the lights off when you go.