Oh the nostalgia,
Oh memory lane,
a poet's dream that we try to capture
in vain
because the essence of what once was,
is never the same,
as the situation is
and that is beautiful.
Beautifully lame.
Because how can one song
Trigger a lifetime of memories
If the song has no real meaning to you.
But it was the feeling,
The freedom,
The risk,
And that's why it triggers so many thoughts and memories
Pain and happiness,
And if I cry in the middle of class
While writing this,
Then it's okay,
I can feel
I can feel
I can feel.

I stand out in the dark
my fear making me a spotlight
where everyone can see
how I'm frozen to the spot
eyes wide, staring at one point
that seems to be masked by the dark.
But I can see it,
it's there, it has to be.
Wait... I think it moved.
I'm gone I'm gone I'm gone
I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead
Sing a little something please
just to calm me
so I can go in peace.
That's all I want.
As my fear lights me up
showing me off to the evil around me.
To the darkness
To the darkness
Here I am for you to take me
Away from the light that makes me
A target.
Stop. No more.
Fear is controlling me
making me shine in places
that I don't want to be.
That thing is moving closer
closer to me.
To me.
To me.
Please leave me be.
I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared
of what is to become of me
if I allow myself to shine
in the wrong way
in the dark.
The dark the dark the dark
Go away please.
These imagined creatures are torturing me.
They're all my eyes can perceive
since my vision is clouded with
fear fear fear
and nothing is
clear clear clear.
I must get out
pull my feet out of the ground
but it is so difficult
as they have become roots
seeking the safety and stability that the soil
provides them.
I still can't move my legs
and now my arms are frozen above my head
and I feel my skin becoming more rough
and I find that I no longer have a mouth.
I can't speak, scream, or fight
my rooted feet had sunk too deep
and the spotlight has gone away
yet I am here to stay
to witness others get lost just like me
and watch their painful transition
into a tree
Whose face is etched in hard lines on the trunk
and whose mind wanders like they used to
But yet nothing is the same anymore
as their feet sunk too deep
since their fear made them take root
in the dark
In the dark
In the dark

You told me over and over again
that I ask too many **** questions.
But how will I ever find out the truth
if I don't ask you anything.
You get angry with me
saying that everything isn't always black
and white
that I never understand you.
But you never let me in.
And when the truth came out
I couldn't help but ask why,
since the communication we had
was severed long ago
from the moment I asked you:
Why are you hiding?
Why are you lying?
Why are you....
Why....
Why?

I will disappear
I will feel fear
I will lose control
I will let things go
I will smile everyday
I will cry in my own way
I will sink like a stone
I will ignore the phone
I will call myself a coward
I will never give myself an award
I will forget how to speak
I will see the ceiling leak
I will take comments to personally
I will whisper my responses silently
I will not know what it's like to be golden
I will not know what it's like to be chosen
I will remember every moment I spent
I will dream of the one present
I will win many battles that open up doors
I will fight more unnecessary wars
I will find myself one day, I was told
I will look back on life fondly when I'm old
I will be happy on most days
I will be sad always
I will just say one more thing
I will remember how to sing

Time is another unit of measurement
but unless you're cold-hearted
you can feel each little second that ticks away.
Each minute,
each hour,
dig deeper and deeper into your heart,
making it feel like it's about to explode.
The day you decided to start this... mess,
was the day the countdown started
and even though I haven't seen you in awhile
I never want to see you again
ever since I realised what you did to me.
When did you do this?
When will you come back?
When will you stay away?
When will you...
When?
When...

Mountain ranges and valleys,
two extremes,
yet it is easier to sink into one
than it is to climb up the other.
The distance you ran is so far away,
away from me.
But can't you see?
That wherever you went
you took me with you
and yet I can't find you
because I don't know where you've gone
and I don't  know where I have gone as well.
Did you take to the heights?
Or sink with the ground?
I feel like I might know.
Where are you?
Where am I?
Where is home?
Where are?
Where?
Where...

Colors are swirling in front of my eyes
and took me too long to realize
that those are your eyes staring at mine.
Different colors are mixing together,
the anger and the fear
of being caught...
of being caught in a lie.
But what did you lie about to make me so upset?
I know you lash out when you're afraid of the consequences
am I really that frightening?
But you lied
you lied about who you truly were
you lived a lie that you created
that you wanted others to believe.
The truth wouldn't break me
it's the lies that do.
What is the purpose of these lies?
What are you doing?
What are you?
What?
What...