Can I keep doing this?
Pushing on uninspired every day..
Creating things I hate
Not because of what they are
But because I had to make them
It's a shame, because you could've been loved
if I'd have loved you when I made you
But even the gentle stream
Destroys the bolder with time.

No matter how much I change,
You will always see the face of the me who hurt you.
I guess the truth is I’m inescapable though.
I’m never someone new, just the same me but bigger.
My brain gets a few more wrinkles,
And I try to be better than I was yesterday.

How can you do that to somebody,
After telling them you loved them?
Believe the lies you tell yourself,
And pass them on to people who care?
They deserve better, you know?
You really don’t think you could be better?

It doesn’t really matter anymore,
No apologies will fix this.
Every word breathed in desperation for forgiveness,
Is like burning acid rain on their soul.
Your presence only serves as a reminder of the danger of trust,
So you’re better gone than forgiven.

Will I go out like the sun
Yellow, orange, red, and pink
Burning until the end?
Or will I be like the moon
And quietly let the coming light
erase me from the sky?

The uncontrollable urge
To gaze upon the macabre
We're trapped here
Our consciousness cannot escape
But only cease
So some are drawn to the dying
A morbid curiosity
To catch a glimpse
Of what lies beyond
The prison walls of living

Temptation
Coming from somewhere so deep
And so dark
To wander just a little closer to the edge
To peek behind the curtain
To take a step closer to the edge of the void
To look for answers
On the edge of a razor blade
Or at the bottom of a bottle of pills
The thought is equally nauseating and exhilerating

These days the well of ideas runs dry
I can no longer lower my bucket
And bring it up full
With enough to satisfy your thirst for creativity
And to satisfy my thirst to create
Yet I am chained to my commitment
To bring you this daily offering
So I turn to the dry stones of my well
And try to squeeze water from them

I hope this mere drop is enough

Shades of green, brown, yellow, orange
The death fall brings is beautiful withering
But winter's soft white blankets
Replace that beauty with monotone
And make the air too cold for moving
It freezes the soul
To be trapped inside walls
And only see only white under an infinite grey sky
I struggle to feel or want anything
But to exist for the purpose of staying warm
Until spring's promise is followed through
And the earth's plants thirsting for water and starving for sun
Emerge from melted snow to usher in warmth and color again.