longing is what best describes it. what i’m feeling
and what i’m thinking when i see you in passing.
i still regret being with you, but nothing can be done
about things that already happened.
we were full of mistakes, like you said.

none of my friends liked you. and even then, i knew
that something was wrong, and i blame it on my youth.
because there was nothing else to blame
and it was all wrong, we both realized that.

i don’t want to be with you. but your promises linger
and drift into my empty head at night.
when the sky is dark and the air is full of pollen,
when the world is quiet and the metro rumbles
down its track, into a tunnel, open like an animal’s maw.

~for Allison~

she loves your poetry,
ok you think,
cause you just love her his-stories of her/here life,
the children, the musician, nominate her as daughter,
her poetry and her yay’s spontane-us,
we are fan fanatical
of each other

and she describes us perfectly -

“So I am an idiot standing in a sad storm of letters that are unrelenting”

ok you think,
not bad, for surely
only the most precious things in life are
unrelenting

2/20/19