Waves o' despondency hit me harder than ever before;
I drown; yet it leaves a burning ember of which I crave more.
Addicted to the deliration and despair that comes o' so naturally -
a new found love for the darkness that lives within me.

I'm not dead,
mostly...
I was in the hospital for a while.
I'm back now! :)

The angel of death kissed me and my mouth sputtered out rusty crimson blood
It slid down my cheek and dropped vertically off my chin
Down to the ground,
Hitting hard against the concrete floor of this cell
I watch it spread out and soak in
Little dribbles hitting down again now and then

I hear the steel doors shake
Piercing rattling in the hollow hall
I hear a shriek

My hair stands on end
Pricking my neck
Goosebumps rise
Pushing the air away from me

I am cold
Cold skin and a cold heart
It beats so slow
Maybe it will stop soon, altogether
Oh god I hope so

Kristina, my friend that I adore.
Kristina, you smiling bubbly joy.
In the dark hours we talked and talked.
When the summer came the world we walked.
I held you close when times we tough.
You held me back, strong but not rough.
Your eyes glisten a deep dark brown.
A face to beautiful to know a frown.
And then he came.
You speak with him, while I wait in the rain.
My hopes and dreams circling the drains.
But still I'm happy that you are too.
Because that is love if the love is true.
I hope he makes you happy, stays loyal through thick and thin.
But we both know that’s not the case.
So why did you choose him?