There's nothing like it.

Bowing my head;
the tears sliding
over my cheeks,
dripping down
into my lap.

I let my chest fill up.
I let my eyes fill up.
I let my head fill up.

Memories.
Torments.
Loneliness.
These things
take me over,
flooding my mind
with the mistakes
I've made;
the awful person
I've become.
Cheater
Liar
Deceiver.

I beat myself,
daily,
for the things I've done
for the things I do.
I cannot stop,
I am driven
to fail
those I love most.

I'm so good,
I can lie
to anyone;
pulling the wool over their eyes,
belief built on
faith, trust and denial.
I am this
heartless creature,
selfish to the core.

The lies I tell,
no one questions,
not even
me.