Eating quietly
is the thing to do
so please don't talk
whilst you chew

Smacking and slurping
I will never allow
or spitting and drooling
like an old milk cow

No laughing or giggling
at the table round
mess with Maw Maw
and I'll take you down

A persons manners
are a reflection
of their true colors

Dress to ****, don't show everything.
Pass smiles, be polite to everyone.
Keep your voice down, never to laugh out loud.
Eat a modest portion, and only one piece of cake.

Walk gracefully, poise in every move.
Sit up straight, legs daintily crossed.
Hold your wine glass by the stem, never by the bowl.
Take a sip by looking into, never over the glass.

There's nothing in the world like proper etiquette.
You can always tell a lady has good breeding
by how effortlessly classy she is.

When asking for something
you should always say please
if I hear ya getting rude
I'll drop ya to your knees

Always use your thank you
don't ever be a *****
if I catch ya being mean
I'll beat you with a switch

No interrupting people
this I already said
you better use “excuse me”
or I'll cuff you in the head

When ever you're in doubt
always ask permission
if you don't do this
you'll be taken out of commission

Keep your negativity to yourself
and never ever be crass
if I catch you mouthin' off
I'll kick you in the ***

No making fun of appearances
I won't put up with that
if I hear you doing this
I'll smash you with a bat

Never open up a door
without knocking first
let me catch you doing that
your bubble I will burst

Use your quiet voice inside
you really shouldn't yell
If Maw Maw hears you doing that
you're gonna catch some hell

No one likes a ***** mouth
you really shouldn't cuss
don't you even do it
or you'll really make me fuss

I hope you learn these lessons
and try not to be bad
use your manners daily
and never make Maw Maw mad

remember to be kind to your mother
and always respect her wishes
and if you're still living in her house
get off your **** and do some dishes

grab a broom and sweep some floors
it'll really do you some good
wash the car and take out the trash
and then go chop some wood

go do some grocery shopping
and buy some bags of food
and maybe cook a dinner
for your mom and the rest of the brood

always take care of your parents
if not for them you would surely be dead
that might be an over exaggeration
I know that just messed with your head

always use some compassion
and don't even tell a small lie
if you lose your integrity
the price you pay will be high

at night say a prayer to our father
and thank him for being your friend
and ask him if at all possible
tomorrow you'd like to do it again

eat your dinner
and do it fast
these cornbread muffins
will never last

the gravy's boiling
and the chickens done
we'll eat some pie
'fore the day is done

apple, blueberry
and brown sugar peach
prize winning fruit
within your reach

now sit up straight
let's say the grace
we always do
at mawmaws place

always use your manners
even when you're home
nothing wrong with etiquette
where ever you may roam

please and thank you always
and never get too loud
remember to stay humble
and make your Maw Maw proud

always help the elderly
and don't be in a rush
speak kindly to young ladies
their hearts you should not crush

no smoking, no drinking
and staying out all night
use your words instead of fists
and please try not to fight

wash your face and cut your hair
and try to dress a little snappy
cause it's your job to try and keep
your mawmaw very happy

Mawmaw Sez...

wash your hands before every meal
and don't forget to say grace
no elbows on the table
or I'll put you in your place

sit up straight and use your manners
and never follow the crowd
learn these lessons quickly
and of that I will be proud

always listen politely
don't chew your food like a cow
after you finish all your asparagus
it is then you can take a bow

be nice to the neighbors when you can
and help old ladies across the street
before you walk into my house
remember to wipe your feet

Be kinder than necessary until there is no reason left for you to be kind; do NOT let yourself become a doormat that people can wipe the **** off their shoes with.
Shower often to wash the weight of the day off your delicate skin.
Floss; it makes your mom proud of your dental exams.
Study only when you need it.
Learn to do your own laundry.
Go to your friend's performances and games when you can.
Keep your room clean.
Say please and thank you regularly.
Stare harshly between someone's brows to make them stop staring at you.
Smile at people in public, but only with a closed mouth.
Carry extra tampons and pads to give to people who may need it.
Plan your day before you go to sleep.
Offer help when you see someone struggling,
But don't offer help if you need help yourself