I found this story on insta....pls check it out. this post is all about it https://www.instagram.com/stories/jimochi_/ (ctto)
it's true armys, where did that contagious bunny smile go? why? why do people have to be like this? all questions that have been rushing through my broken mind. it doesn't have to be like this. he shouldn't get this. yet he does. and it breaks me to watch day by day, that smile fade....
it breaks me..
because i truly want him to have everything. i will give him my life,
but how do I do that? how can I make him happy...
when
all
I
am
Is
a girl that loves him...who is miles away...she is so far away. so hard to reach him, give him her touch. so far to whisper in his soft ears that he is enough. she wants the very best for this angel but how can she give him the 'very best' when she will never pass that test. she wants him to know how much she cares. that "it doesn't matter what they say. you are perfect by the way".... but when reality hits...it hits hard.. that no matter how much she believes, she will never feel his heart. she will never be able to tell him "i love you so much". she can only cry, and watch as he breaks and sighs.
but no matter what happens, she made a promise "i promise to never say goodbye" but she will stop to try. trying to stop all his tears while her eyes blur from her own. because she knows no matter how hard she tries and tries, she will never be the one. the one to stop him from falling apart. she goes crazy every night, her head feeling so light. her broken voice whispers out
"I love you so **** much. I want you to love yourself. to not listen to them. because you are perfect my love. I don't want you to cry anymore. that's enough of the tears and heartbreaks. those people that hate, they aren't worth your precious time. I know it's hard...pain kills. but I am here...and you don't know that. but I am here. so I just hope you realize that you are my world and... I don't ever wish to see you fall. so while I am lying on my knees, ready to die. do me a favour and smile. do me a favour and get up on your feet......it would make my life"
and then reality hits again... she can wish and wish and try every second of the day...but she will never get to say this to his face. only in her head, it's true that he will be hers, but outside her cruel mind, she realizes "he will never be mine".
and the pain, once again, began....as she burst out into tears, finally accepting the fact that
"I am just a fan"
