... and when they find my body still and cold
i hope someone decides cry
but i fear they won't
i fear
they will simply see a man who lost
and perhaps they will wonder
at the peculiarity
of why someone would die
when they gave so much
loved so much
and failed every time
that despite his best
the only marker on his grave reads
"wasted potential"
so no one will grieve when
the back of my head disappears
in a red mist
that matches my love
crashing into the walls others built
one
    two
          three
i dont want to see morning
& every "i love you" was a lie
i cant swallow anymore
oh how many lies i gleefully swallowed
despite knowing
trust was already severed
and a dead end was the
upcoming feature film
of reality
**** it...
im done

This feeling is a starry night behind my eyes
A revival of beauty I chose to forsake
But never left

You are this heart in my chest and I love you
Everything about you is perfect as is
And if you change I will change with you
You never wanted to hear it but you are loved
And prayed over constantly
God will replace every pain with a golden rose
You will find love in this life
For I've always loved you
Even from afar

My greatest friend
My greatest love
Wherever you are
Find your way home

Has my heart adjusted to the dark//
or have I simply fallen apart?

Are you with me still//
or do you fear me?

Does the distance end//
with the silence?

The wolf cries out in hunger//
for when love was young.

The questions fall too short//
to the walls of our forts.

This is embodied agony//
lusts for my love to be given.

Solemn and dignified I let the devil reach inside
To twist everything up with his twisted lies
Honey placed on my lips but a knife in my side
I let him slide past as he let me backslide
"I'm done with his lies" I lie to myself
Unless that lie is from him I can't tell anymore
Lines are so blurred like lines from tear stained poems
They're never good enough and I want to throw them
and throw up
Cuz I've never shaped up to the man I make myself out to be
It seems the seams of my dreams gets ripped apart by reality
My reality is I have no control and that scares me
Cuz holding on means safety
and I can't safely let go of things I'm too scared to fall
Let me talk myself out of this please
Reach inside and twist these lies
Just one more time

So many words placed with delicate zeal I have left at your feet
Cover to cover my love for you fills the book of my heart
Has anyone loved as fervently as I have you?
My pages remain eternally locked away
None has the heart to read them
I don't even have a key left
There is no use for one
You remain alone
Pallid lover
I'm sorry