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janelle 1d
he drifted away
while i stayed the same.
he sits behind me in class
and im still,
silently grieving our past
i turn around
searching in his eyes,
aching for his ghost
but his sand in the hourglass
slipped too fast
“it’s not like we’re strangers”,
he reluctantly said
shifting his eyes away
as my ruptured heart bled
my mind had too much
and reality was ahead—
i never knew that
“i will never get bored”
expired with a “yet”
Over 100 poems
dedicated to you

Is that love
or
Am I crazy
2 pm
Who will I be today?
How will I feel?
There's one thing I want,
one feeling so real
Yet I won't have it, I'll sit back and yearn
That light I keep grabbing-
I don't really deserve
But I'll think of him-
when I eat ice cream,
stuck to the roof of my mouth
like peanutbutter
When I'm standing alone
in the eyrie of crows,
flashlight in hand without a lover
I'll think of him-
when I make a bold joke, no one else gets it but I know that he'd choke
And that laugh-
I could never forget
My favorite performance prize
that I'll ever get
But I won't.
No, not anymore
Now my days are silent
with with a little more
chaos to my lore
Every morning I remind myself we don't work,
Your memory spends all day convincing me otherwise
Hi
Hi, how are you?
How was your day?
I wish I could say something better, but say that you'll stay
Hi, what are you doing?
My name is Kay
I'm sorry if it's deja vu, I couldn't make these feelings go away
Hi, I missed you-
But nevermind that
I want to try and meet you again, could we rewrite the past?
Even though my heart knows that isn't how this works
It's selfish to miss someone you left
Yet here I am anyway
A million things to do
But I can't stop thinking about
You.
I can't even doomscroll without
reminders of you
Kalliope May 26
My days are all purple,
Not yellow, not green,
But a lavender, orchid, and lilac
shaded screen
My vision ever tainted
With visions of you
Gabbro May 13
I’ve always said that I lack self-control
Can’t make a horse stop to drink
Can't get my thoughts complete
No matter how much I think

I try to think my morality is a compass, but I’m scared,
That this is only true if someone needs me
To navigate, I don't know where I’m going
So what good is a compass to me? I don't want

To go places, I just want to go
With people, and if I can be with people
I’ll think of myself a guide, a mentor, a helper.
But riding on the whims of others is no form

Of Discipline, the kind our parents gave us
Wasn't real because discipline isn't something
Given its something found inside yourself,
And I’m still searching because Im weak

To my own desires as I am to others
And I’m even weaker still to you
I didn't even need to be with people
When I could be with you, it scared me.

I’m a Grandfather clock floating off the seaside
And every hour on the hour thoughts of you bang
Through my head like piano notes, starting few
In the afternoon, Ring, Ring-Ringg, Ring-Ringg-Ringgg

You sound in my mind a dozen times every midnight
And while I flow above this Green Sea, I see a light-
House, Shining Pink-Orange at me, but theres a gray
Fog between us, not gray ash, but blue-gray, like Chartreux

I checked your spotify today, I'm sure you can tell,
One of the bangs told me to, and we both know
How well I say no, But i'm glad it did, because it
Let me know, that you feel the gray too, and maybe Pink-Orange as well?
For T
Gabbro May 14
I’m visiting places you’ve never been— Still I find you there.
It is beautifully sad to see you in everything. I want
Tears of joy, not regret, when I see orchids on my wedding day
For T
The space between us used to hum,
A symphony of whispered fun,
Now silence sits, a heavy guest,
Where laughter flowed, and joy was blessed.

We built a world, a vibrant hue,
Shared dreams that felt forever true,
Now tinted gray, the colors fade,
A memory of promises made.

Remember nights beneath the stars,
Secrets shared, behind life's bars,
Each other's anchor, strong and deep,
Secrets that now we softly keep.

A simple glance could say it all,
Before the rise, before the fall,
Now eyes avoid, a painful game,
Where neither whispers out the name,

Of what we lost, or let erode,
A bond we carried on the road,
The road of life, with twists and turns,
Where fire flickered, slowly burns.

No angry words, no shouting cries,
Just quiet tears behind our eyes,
A gentle drift, a silent pull,
Leaving hearts heavy, spirits dull.

We walk on eggshells, light and slow,
Afraid to ask, afraid to know,
The reason why, the where and when,
Our story fractured, not again.

But here we stand, on opposite sides,
Where comfort once securely hides,
A hollow echo, faint and weak,
Words left unspoken, we can't speak.

The distance grows with every day,
As feelings silently decay,
A chasm forms, a widening tear,
Leaving only emptiness to fear.

Perhaps someday, the ice will thaw,
And understanding we will draw,
But until then, we both must bear,
This weight of silence, in the air.

Two souls adrift, no longer near,
Haunted by what once was clear,
The unspoken truth, a constant sting,
The end of everything.
Sara Ann Apr 20
I cracked open my chest in front of the mirror

Dug around for the light switch

I found your sweater thrown over one of my ribs

and a note you had left on my heart in sharpie

‘I was here’

Though, i know you meant ‘will always be’
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