I’m not me anymore. I can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t do, can’t be. I am still, and silent, and sad. So achingly, horrifyingly sad. Everything hurts, but nothing hurts at all, because I’m absolutely numb. I curl up and try to keep all of everything inside of me from falling apart. I don’t even want to open my eyes.

Why is winter my kryptonite?

This emptiness
fills my being like blood,
running through my veins.

This loneliness
holds me
like no one ever could.

This poison
infects my brain
like a deadly virus
slowing killing me
without anyone knowing.

I feel trapped
and I'm scared of what might happen,
I'm scared of what I might do,
but most of all--
I'm scared of my thoughts.

Because I'm a hostage of my own mind
and the worst part is;
no one can hear me scream.