Sleepless Times, which can conspire at any time even in the tamed land of dreams – if they so choose. Signs of the past should be nursed, who carry the pain of stigma wounds unnoticed. Like the children who were made to sit in silent silence or were scolded, who could not get gummy bears, Playstations, or anything else – now, as if the dawning morning light involuntarily humiliates a person deeper and deeper... Like the tiny ants, a person can also increasingly – if you are not careful – break into broken mosaic pieces, which nothing, not even the laws of the Universe, can put back together;

The secret worldly materials of humanity and spirit can no longer be realized by the balancing desire for certain instinctual satisfaction. Unsuspecting, they cross so many belittling, forbidden thresholds, because they are sufficiently careless, unwary, and involuntarily violate the inner silence of the secret circles of the soul. On the fate-woven veil of Being, a stray, clinging cobweb thread often tips over; the secret mood melancholy of joy and sorrow, just like the secret pendulum of moods, changes every second, like the devil's spasm. Because the eternal Nothing can still be lost by the crumbling Lack, because it lacks the secret umbilical cord that once organically chained its defenseless, lonely victims to Life!

The fragments of memory, like the potsherds, can break at any time; first only the found, yet hesitant movement falls apart, then the hug, or perhaps the handshake. We reserve the pitiful entrance to our cold, cheap, petty secrets – at least for now – for the competent love who would bring the One-Dear!

Ever since man has been conscious, he has been aware of it a little: here, it seems as if everything has suddenly ceased to exist, has been ruined, has been destroyed, as if there is no way to go anywhere or escape from here, because the whole big World is totally ruined. Nothing is and cannot be in rock-solid order anymore. It is as if not only the cells, organs, but also the driving springs of the internal body responsible for digestion, which also operate the heart acting as a pump, are deliberately becoming heavier.

And already – without a doubt – the tiny vibrations of the soul still move themselves faithfully, perhaps the dog no longer even pays attention to them. The inner longing torments the man's guts more and more; to go or to remain still for a few more ownerless, uninhabited decades, until we are no longer forty but fifty or sixty years old, and the piles of feces of our dreams and plans intended for realization dissolve into old men.

There is rarely a way out of the tingling grip of enormous lead weights, because sooner or later, one way or another, one must necessarily perish unworthy among the mists of gray, mortal dawn. The latent Lack grafted into Nothingness can still be held to an infinite account, because it would always interrupt, cut off the conscious realization to which man would generally still cling. Should we be left to rot, so that the eternal-childish fear and anxiety boil halfway?!

A touching tide of phrases of nauseating, nauseating speeches; that how much easier it would be if I-Time could be somehow expanded, although it is universally known that it is all in vain, because a single day only has 24 hours, and because there are many people for whom even 36 hours are becoming less and less!

In every age, this rigid falling flight stretched to the point of invisibility, into which a person involuntarily, inescapably clings out of necessity, because he can hardly do anything else. Belittling, selfish wasps lurk, dipping their stingers deep into your skin, in your built life, which you have scraped for yourself; you yourself rarely notice that you have become a decoy, who can continue to be led, deceived.

Out there, a crowd of brainwashed idiots, like fevered moles who have lost their minds, are constantly digging tunnels of dubious, pitiful careers, because they think that there is greater success, where one can lick some people's *****, but in vain, because a lying larval silence clings to their already ***** souls.

Because in livable life, the balance, which is already unstable and indifferent to the core, is increasingly tipping, namely, who is pulling which way and where?! Why do we have to stumble up and down endless eternities amidst constant tugs?! The un-understood wound is breaking into fragments of uncertain, doubtful tomorrows.

The selfish stigma-sins of fearful coincidences can hardly be heard by the ear of a simple person anymore; Now it has become more and more customary that retirement is just a privilege, and can only be given, and whoever, forty-something years later, still wants to recover from the anxieties of a stormy childhood with any dignity, would be better off going to Hell, so that they can at least warm up and not freeze to death for lack of fuel. This is how pre-planned desires, instinctively calculated plans, and objectives become old men with stomachaches, urinary stones, and toddlers. They doze off with their livable lives out of necessity!

On the Nineveh-smelling, alley-like street corner, habit is becoming increasingly furious. The plum body of indifferent public sentiment seems to be withering; the petty rage of moods is also stirring more and more imperceptibly, although for now only in melancholy silence, because the big city is already infected with work-horror, the face of a hack is always suspicious; since no one is named and no one polishes parquet floors and terracotta stones to their liking and the total is always doubtful, because it is constantly changing.

In disposable job grinders, stadium-sized emotions try to stir the stagnant water; the always imported melon peel has long since rotted, just like the pitted, crunchy but wormy cherry, because even the last thoughts cannot really win on their own. Deep in the soul – fearful –, man would in vain seek smaller wormholes for himself in a self-willed rebellion, and then with transparent hearts, like a wandering ghost, to wander carefully throughout his life, because in this consumer society no one can be truly himself anymore.

And since perhaps no one finds it, because they could not really look for the hiding place of happiness, the unbearably deliberate narrow path of existence now leads to total Nothingness, the disenfranchised meaning of which is increasingly difficult for anyone to understand. Man rolls heavy boulders like Sisyphus in vain if he cannot settle anywhere and remains in one place. More and more emphasis is placed on superficial, exhibitionistic artificiality, while the small child crouching in the soul is gradually, intentionally forgotten.

They can leave their moldy faces hanging for decades on some arrogant, rusty copper screws, from which protruding nails sneer their ominousness; modern man is increasingly showing withdrawal symptoms that seem to be hidden!

It has now begun to be a passing malaise, to be punished for everything, except for one's own faults, when not only things, melancholy objects, but also calculating and suspicious glances behind the back of the defenseless, vulnerable person, who is - usually - left alone to a sufficient extent, look at each other like silent accomplices. They dig their wildcat claws into the skin, saying: "Let it hurt, just calmly!"

- That is why the majority can gradually come to like totally catastrophic circumstances at any time. A single happy self-forgetfulness, self-deception, self-deception is now just enough for a person to compromise at any time or to perform a ritualistic Turn of the Way; carrion flies, petty thugs peck at their pleasure, spitting on the germs of a more livable life that yearns for order. Is every path both anger and humility?! Halfway between the two, a mirage of speech that has neither ears nor tail.

Guided by the weight of memories, and then burned, it would still be good to cling to the echoes of encrypted heartbeats, which comfortingly alleviate the apocalyptic ominous omens of sadness. Every phantom pain is also a trench dug with us also; the taste of sleepless nights among the rusting gears of the brain, wondering if Someone would still pay attention; a futile squirrel circling in a chained labyrinth, from which there is no and can no longer be a way out anywhere.

– The embankment road is constantly closed; sometimes due to flooding, sometimes due to noise! Anyway, it leads to underworld filth and filth. All unnecessary alarms and cries were a false alarm, let the neglected anger and injured self-consciousness wear away quite calmly on the sunken, slightly eternally childish face.

Oh, how many more titanically baptized, melancholic Ages, in which creative loneliness still resonates?! Sensationalism, a blind window of color blindness of devotion. Because even now the known and definite human yes and no mutual gambling game is constantly straining against each other; more and more at the mercy of a higher power every day, no one wants to accept the inexorable contradictions that could even supplement the foundations that have become unstable like a house of cards?!

The human soul today is more like a closed, secret book, which should be opened and turned carefully; one must understand the multifaceted meaning of the hidden Morse and Apocryphal codes if one wants to read it. In any case, it is increasingly difficult to gain safe entry through the wide keyhole of brainwashed skulls. – Even those who are ready for action are increasingly finding indifferent readiness everywhere.

The quarrelsome preachers could one day be replaced by a peaceful, wise spiritual agitator. A horde of grunting rascals is now huddled on the ruins of the world, they do not know how to survive their uncertain future. Because it is easier to exist confined to an inner infinity than to play around in the name of free will. The wretched, tinsel-like business shop has been handed over to gnawing rats and mice.

Because a clever phrase wants to puff itself up again and again on the shoulders of some straw men. – Now they are even burning invisible seals and stamps not only into the skin, but also into the chasms of the soul. The bowing, slobbering penguins are limping into this melancholy age; because they may know them as Executioners or good friends, they make a nicely gesticulated obeisance.

They serve spoiled food specialties and seafood to the unsuspecting VIP - star guests, who have especially delicate stomachs anyway. And while quite a few have just switched to the pleasures of zero-calorie diets and paleo diets as a fashion, they also deliberately make themselves ***** so that they can fit into the new trendy and fashionable clothing collection in time!

The morning, light summer breeze, as if it were already breaking the rope of our executioner; dark worries and troubles are entering everyday life, now driving stealthy, talkative conditions here and there, until they can only fit on their roaring throats. As if the scarecrows were voluntarily sitting on each other's backs, impaled. As if everyone's eyes and mouths had been sewn shut with the weights of padlocks, just so that they wouldn't have to protest or rebel.

- A deliberately thickened powder plaster spreads over the models' faces, but who can see their real, hidden faces?! It would be better to turn two truthful mirrors to face each other, to see who is lying and who is still telling the appearance-truth. As if the yellowed copy were already rolling itself backwards out of habit; how we should have become when we were still full of world-saving dreams and childish plans, our ever-increasing debts to others, so we ***** ourselves.

As if we should deliberately celebrate our conscious inadequacy. We are quite stuck in this already viscerally self-depriving robber Age, from which there is no way out; because mortals may still suspect that waiting is in every respect only the privilege and virtue of the dead, they have put together so many hackneyed, futile farewell sentences. The celestial stars dreaming of happiness hidden in superstitious eyes are carrying out a celestial degradation.

Wherever the simple average person turns, the excrement and ***** smell that spreads in the old sink of the Universe greets him, and the walled-in, meager poverty-stricken pension awaits him deep in mailboxes, which is not enough for anything, at most only for starvation. The only time your shaving day will end is if the Gillette blade accidentally cuts you off and hits an orphaned artery!

I often find myself in the crossfire of my actions and words, like condemned prisoners awaiting their own execution, tolerated and resigned, who have nothing more to lose and perhaps can never have anything more to lose. My cheekbones are covered with tearful petals, which curl back halfway, because like rusting rabbi's handcuffs: my extravagant, yet murderously honest words ring out on me, which no one understands and which not even the dog is interested in.

It would be nice if there were some inner arctic melting deep in my vulnerable, much-experienced heart, which would melt everything and heal my selfish, stigmatized wounds. My uncertain Future hangs on thin ropes, as I cannot even guess the weight of the temporary questions and answers that surround me unnoticed and often blackmail me, just like the massive camp of the demanding.

They may think that just another sucker or a tamed wild beast has got in their way, if they see that I go into myself every single day to decipher the value of the present. Conscience is most similar to an oceanic howl, which keeps speaking to me from deep within, and whose wise words should be listened to and heeded. – They often cannot even see it, since it is hidden, like almost so many things: a secret earthquake, a volcanic eruption rumbles on my face hidden deep within, like a tense heart attack that comes with stress.

I will escape, you will see, like a strange, disciplined guest-courier, who was only invited as a guest, for a surprisingly short time and will no longer be beaten by either real estate or fist-law. – My dreams lie on top of each other, which are unachievable for the next twenty to thirty years due to the lack of financial and human resources.