is it true that in one lifetime
one can have many different ones
with to share their time?
but if that is so, then
why is it called 'the one,' singular?
and if that is so, then
what happens when one finds the one
and right through their fingers-
away the one slips?

because i found 'the one,' singular
the one who jump-started my heart
the one with whom i wanted my life to start
the one who warmed my heart, chilled and cold
the one who would love me
even when my body grew wrinkled and old

but when the cold turned to heat
you got wandering feet
i woke up cold and alone
with the loneliest feeling
that i have ever known
the one whose existence i doubted
the one who made me believe
was gone

i don't know where you are
but i know where i can always find you
sitting right there on the tip of my tongue
running through my mind
pulling my puppet strings
making me see things
eyes that are just shades of you
baby blues bring bad news
i should have known better,
i should have known better.

love is a cancer
love is a cancer because
even though you feel optimistic about your prognosis
even though you still have delusions about your (im)mortality
cancer is cancer
and with cancer, there is only one way this can end

love is a cancer
because you hear the stories
you see the victims
but you always roll your eyes and say
"that'll never be me"
but it will be you
love is a cancer
and i am the patient

love is a cancer
and i met you in a support group
we commiserated over our shared illness
then overcame it together
hand in hand, we thought we were safe
but love is a cancer
and you will never be safe

love is a cancer
and cancer is cruel
as you regained your strength, i lost mine
your love is a tumor
at first it was so small
i didn't notice a difference
but with each new time you let me down
that tumor inside me grew and grew
until one day it overtook me
there was nothing we could do

love is a cancer
like all illnesses
you think it can be treated
i sat through long hours of radiation
i sat soggy from the chemo
my lips, chapped and faded
longed for your sweet kiss
even thought i felt it once-
but alas, your touch was only a dream
a side effect from my killing savior
love is a cancer
and my love, my darling-
it has metastasized

love is a cancer
and i was the patient
in just five months, i have grown
jealous, rail-thin, and prone to paranoia
a shell of who i am
who i used to be
now i am stuck here, useless and helpless
i lack the weakness to hand over my life
i lack the strength to say goodbye
five months ago, i was optimistic
since of course i am invincible
but i am not invincible
because cancer is cancer
and with cancer, there is only one way this will end

the early morning sun washes our faces
you curse the brightness
i say 'good morning'
and it is
because i woke up next to you

and i ask,
"is it just me
or do you smell honeysuckle?"
and you say,
"no, but i smell your morning breath
and it ******* stinks."

i ask,
"is it just me
or do you hear
a fanfare of trumpets
perhaps a string quartet?"
and you say,
"no, cinderella, but i hear the birds
they're here to wash your hair
and i hear the mice
they're here to dress you."

i ask,
"is it just me
or are you in love right now?"
and you say,
"no, but i am in bed
and for me
that's good enough."

my little optimist heart is confused
because grandma told me
my glass was always half-full
because mama told me
'if you have nothing nice to say
then say nothing at all.'
but you are so vicious
with your poisonous tongue
and your poor disposition
my little optimist heart
doesn't know what to do
because it beats for you

i ask,
"why can't this be
a good morning
for both you and me?"
and you say,
"on the contrary,
it is a good morning:
it is sunday
bombs are not falling from the sky
you live in a good neighborhood
and i am in bed
next to a beautiful woman
so yes, it is a good morning."

i cannot be sure
how much you mean
and how much is meant
to be comedy
as you walk a thin tightrope
between pure comedy and pure honesty
so i take that as my cue
to roll over and go back to sleep

i cannot be sure
but you might have kissed my neck
and said this is all you need
but it all could have been
some honey-soaked dream
how am i to discern
between fantasy and reality
when you have drawn the line so thin
between pure comedy and pure honesty?

the sun rises every day
the neighbor's rooster always wakes us
underneath the covers
pressed against your skin
is safe and warm
outside is cold and uncertain
i know if you heard me say this
you would surely *****
but baby, you have to admit
each other is all we've got

sticks and stones
may break my bones
but i know words
will destroy me

tearing and stringing together
to form the strongest weapon of all
the pen truly is mightier than the sword
or perhaps there is no difference
i am incapable of making that inference

choose your sharpest knives
straight from your thickest dictionary
find out i am not a reactionary
they say i bleed black ink
want to prove the rumor?
i know you can
i dare you to

i will crumble
i will smolder and fade away
like words burned on a page
trapped inside your literary rage

sharpen your knives
ones that destroy lives
trusty six-gun on your left
thesaurus on your right
huff and puff
with all your might
and i will
fall
down

all my life i've been skeptical
that "the one" exists for every one
'cause in my life i've watched "the one"
turn too many hearts skeletal
but they all scoff at my fear
they say, "holly, you'll know when you fall"
well, once upon a time, i fell
all that resulted in was tears
and enough self-esteem issues to last me for years
but then they have the absolute gall
to say, "when in doubt, just try try again"
try again? try again?
how many times do i have to lose a friend?
how many times do i have to pretend?

god this is awful
how can we as a society consider it lawful?
it's enough to make me pray for an end
to the madness, the search, the chase
to bow out with just a little bit of grace
after all, cats are cute
puppies are loyal
and i've got my friends
so pick up the phone and call me
when this **** ends

enter you
i didn't know what to do
my glimmer of hope didn't spark
you weren't my flashlight in the dark
but soon i saw less gloom
i saw flowers bloom
my heart opened up like a rosebud
while my mind still remains closed up
because mom and dad live at separate addresses
because colorful words paint a picture
because i doubt my ability to break the chain
so love is the thing that my heart suppresses

you wormed your way in
got right under my skin
slowly at first, then all at once
for the first time my heart didn't yell, "there's been a break in!"
it only extended a friendly hand and said, "welcome home."
so for now you have my heart on loan
and yeah, i still don't believe in "the one"
but my love, my darling, i believe in us
and for me, that is enough