If i could will my heart to stop
and breathe a final breath
i'd sit beneath an old oak tree
and trade my life for death

The pain in life of losing you
is more than i can bear
how can a man be happy when
his better half's not there

Life's meaning's gone when i lost you
no purpose can i find
for you were but the reason i
loved life and cherished time

i cannot will my heart to stop
i'm waiting for the sign
from God to show His mercy to
unite us one more time

Life begins at a point
And it is unknown to me
I was little when it began
I don't know how it began

It flows like a river
It flows to one direction
To the final destination
And it never returns

By the way I saw
Different people with
Different cultures and you
are different from others

Your eyes shine like a
Precious stone; diamond
You have some powers
Coz you attracted me

towards you forever
Those words were like
pearls falling from heaven
Finally you stopped on
three words that shake me....

"I Love You"..
Now my hope is You....
My heart is You....
And I'm waiting for You....

Dear Abba,
    
      To spiritually photoshop, or not to spiritually photoshop: that is a recurring question. I’ve gotten pretty good at cropping and resizing to keep an impressive façade, but the emptiness behind it is the telling thing, telling me that something about the life I’m living is off the tracks. I’m not the biggest fan of mirrors but I realize they do serve a purpose: showing me the reality, the real me. I’m a ragamuffin, always have been, and yet You love me, the real me. Amazing.

Jesus you asked your disciples: who do people say that I am? There were many different answers. You asked your disciples: who do YOU say that I am? Peter replied "You are Jesus the Christ. The savior." A good answer, but then when you talk about your death and what you must suffer and Peter rebuked you for saying such outrageous things, you scolded him for thinking as we humans do, not as God thinks. Then you said that to lose your your life for Christ and the gospel, you would gain eternal life in heaven, but those who love their lives would lose them. That in order to follow you we must deny ourselves and take up our cross. You said what profit is there to gain the whole world but lose our lives? For what can we give in exchange for the value of our lives?

Jesus, who do we say you are? Who are you to us? Forgive us, like Peter, when we get upset with you when bad things happen because we think not as God thinks but as humans think. We don't always see the bigger picture and purpose. When you said "Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me" you were saying that we must cast off our old self, old habits and ways. We must carry our burdens (our cross) which create a way to connect to each other and to you. "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it." We must learn how to live selflessly and we must be willing to die to ourselves. If we lose or give up our old life for the sake of replacing it with a life for Jesus and the good news we will have eternal life. You remind us and warn us that the things of this life, their value could never come close to the value of our souls. You remind us not to fall victim to loving the riches of this earthly life more than we ought to love you and being with you forever one day. Finally, you tell us to be unashamed of Christ and the message and to share it with all we meet in a gentle and loving manner. We should not be worried about what others will do or say because it matters not as long as we are doing it with a right heart for you and the gospel. Thank you Lord for being our Savior, help us to die to the old ways that we might truly live with you. Give us the strength and courage to be unashamed of the gospel message and you so that we might bring another heart to you. Amen.