...being a beacon for darkness
...being a deacon of evil
...seeing no evil regardless
...seeing honesty as a hurtle
...restating unholy responses
...restating there'll be no upheaval
...ruling with no conscience
...ruling different for different people
...playing your god against us
...playing yourself in the process
...knowing none of it is real
...knowing if it is your going to hell

©2024

things have not been okay in these past few months
to the point...i don't wear a seatbelt
a lonely body flowing through a crowded world
i thought i'd found my purpose
the hurt never went away and i'm stuck here in this game of tug-a-rope but I'M THE ROPE
and both sides are against me
i didn't care if i lived or died i was living in a gray area
a small light appears
it makes my chest explode
it makes my eyes water
i see my body and i remember i am real
i am terrified the light is a flame that will
catch me on fire and i will go up in a blaze
never to return
but i don't care because for once i am real
for once i care
I STARTED WEARING A SEATBELT FOR GOD'S SAKE SO HOW THE **** CAN THIS BE WRONG
all i see are blurs of made up colours
every sound is the screeching of metal against metal
there are screams
glass shatters
my mind is a car crash