i'm stuck in this bomb of a body;
heels pressed into the knowledge
that things will always go wrong.
finger cocked on the hair-trigger that is my mind;
whether the blast will go inwards or out no one knows.
either way, the result will hurt everyone close
to this disaster that is me and myself;
the only thing  i can be trusted to do
is sabotage my health -
i fail on purpose at everything else,

Even when my skull vibrates from the screaming in my head.

I will wrap my sturdy arms around me, fear and all, fear especially.

I will whisper, quiet but sure "I will not hurt myself the way they did."

I.
      Will.
                  NOT.
                    ­                 Hurt.
                                                           Myself!