the more i try the more it just feels false
my words come out and just like that I freeze-
i regret what I say and keep silent around everyone
then the silence catches up with me
and infiltrates my mind

why did i speak why did i have to be
me, what is it about my existence
that makes life so ******* difficult to
to speak to think to form a sentence or two
why is something so simple so complex

you have kind eyes
i’m not saying anything more except
that’s
that’s what attracted me -
not in a romantic way or
any way at all
just a friendly way i guess,
so some sort of way it turns out,
a really random way or
completely accidental or
oops there goes my mind again

but i can’t help it when there’s someone new
who tolerates me to the point of tears
then drops me on my *** and forgets
i’m even here

i dont trust very easily but i want to trust you,
my eyes want to cry and my mouth wants to speak
but see what happens when the two collide?
this.
this is what happens and
this is how i lose people and
this is how i live
because i’m afraid of being left behind or disliked
because it’s not every day someone with kind eyes
shares an ounce of of their kindness by looking into my
own
kind
eyes

dear god please don’t **** this up
i know i’m an atheist but
****** atheists have some kind ******* eyes

I wish I had a life's moments eraser
To erase all the bad moments from others memories
But I would like to keep them in mine
They give me humility
They give me the charm and qualities I have now

I wish I were beautiful
So that I could not be so nervous when I talk to people

I wish I were a better writer
So that I could be famous for it

I wish I were a better vocalist and that I were musically talented
I can sing already I just want to be better

But I'm the exact opposite
I can't erase my bad moments
I'm not beautiful
And I'm an alright writer, I'm just not the best of them
I can sing good, but I'm just not great

*But I wish most of all to be able to have children someday