Trust the process. They say.
But what if I am the process?
Anyway, my mind is directing my actions,
My body's the one to obey.
But shouldn't it be in a vice versa way?

To listen to the body, for a change.
I can imagine that, but can I manage that?
The body knows the healthy way,
Why should my mind lead instead?

Back to the roots, they say.
I weren't there, I state.
I cannot know for sure,
The origin of human way.

Does the body ever speak to me though?
Oh, I'm sure it at least sometimes whispers.
Don't eat that sugarfilled product, you,
I need simply more oxytocin.

This one weak voice, you can realize,
If you pay attention very closely,
Our bodies miss the human touch,
But we feed it with chocolate, almost chocking.

Our bodies miss sports, exercise,
Do you feel, how your muscles get weaker?
Get out there, for a fresh morning run,
Your body will be happier much quicker.

Let your health be the leader of your day,
Listen to your inner body's voice,
It has every minute-hour, much to say,
It's about life, for what it's worth.

Our bodies miss love,
Our mind's blown away,
Shouldn't we listen up,
And give our bodies a say?

Numb?
No actually better already,
Painful?
halfway, not full I suppose.
Thought I was so very aware,
Turned out, I didn't know half of the truth.

Fears chasing me, yet again.
And I try to stay in the moment,
Maybe that was the mistake,
I held on to it, with force.

I was convinced, my inner state,
Must feel all pure and harmonious,
Every time I have made it into the
Present moments.
But very possible I was wrong,
And I covered my fears with an image,
Of how I would think,
A moment in human's life should feel.

Sounds bit complicated, I know.
But I know what I talk about.
I am tired of hiding the unpleasant,
I better live with, not without it.

In fact without it, that's not possible.
At least till I have cleared it up.
It can't disappear, it's emotional,
And I used to cover it up.

It was a part of my perfect thinking,
I idealized myself,
In my view, I am a real warrior,
A hero for the weak and dead,
I put this expectation on myself,
I carried it around like a shield,
And though no arrow really got to me,
I still got traumatized, stopped to feel.
In fact behind the shield I was just hiding,
I hid my fears, my worries beneath,
I am still very sure that they're my weaknesses,
I tried to be different, and the result was this.

I truly stopped to feel real pain,
I fell to ashes and got up again,
But through the journey,
I lost who I was,
And my humanity got lost.

Now I am standing here,
My shield, still in my hand,
But I have made a hole,
To look through it instead.

I am not ready to uncover,
How damaged I am underneath,
I am not ready to discover,
My truth and my uncertainties.

I'm wounded, but I am alive.
I see it although I still hide,
Under the shield,
A perfect game,
The sun, the rain,
They're all the same,
No light comes in,
And storms stay outside,
But I am here to live,
And I have to decide,
Can I let the illusion go,
Am I ready to meet with my soul,
Am I ready to show the world,
Who I am and who I'm actually not?

Truly, I didn't even know,
I held this shield through it all,
I just saw it in my hand and realized,
I am not as much a hero, as I fantasized.

In fact I feel really hurt and blind,
For the waking up is cutting within
At the same time I realize,
It is time to let life and light in.

It is a very small, though heavy step to make.
I am still shaking insecurely, I have fears.
I need more courage now,
Than I ever had,
And I'm glad, that now I understand that.

A long time ago my Happiness was taken from me
They dragged it away kicking and screaming
They took it and they locked it up in solitary confinement
No trial
No jury
It was meant to be a life sentence
For a while I just accepted this
I told myself there was nothing I could do
Then one day I decided that was *******
This was my Happiness and I was getting it back
So I went to the place where it was imprisoned and searched
Eventually I found the dark and dank cell where they put my Happiness
With a little effort I was able to pick the lock
And finally let it free
I rushed in to greet my old friend
But to my dismay I discovered it had changed
My Happiness was locked up in total darkness
All alone
For so long…
It had become Insanity

Emptiness,
Darkness,
No peace.
Silent,
Still.
Nothingness.
No light,
No sound,
No shape,
Nothing.
No fear;
No joy.
     Somehow;
             somewhere deep within,
There is a semblance of a feeling,
A feeling that
I Am.
Then movement,
shadows,
confusion;
Fear arrives.
More awareness
of emotions and feelings.
Lights,
colors,
sounds,
touching.
Shapes  come into focus.
I begin to come into focus…
To understand that
I am.
Who I am,
Where I am.
I am coherent now.

I was lying wooden in the house of woods,
And imprisoned in the servitude of solitude.
The outdoor elements were not in their elements ,
Sitting tight awaiting their merriments.
Strength and hope was under the umbra of duskiness,
The soul was clueless about the cloudlessness.
The smiling rays of light were in the shackles of dark heavy clouds,
The euphorious rhythms were longing for their warm touches and euphonic sounds.

On this greyish gloomy sight,
When the heaven started showering something white,
As my heart caught the sigh of this light,
A voice came from inside,
Hey !! Get up my child !!,
Lets step out and empower the inner child to play outside.

As i stepped out of my darkness,
I got face to face with an awareness,
The view is so beautiful outside,
If you pay attention to the love of darkness and light.

Light compassionately requested the darkness,
O My beloved !! Go and spread some awareness,
And light the lamps of hopes with happiness .

Spread an awareness about the blessings in disguise,
An awareness about the treasures inside,
As this awareness throw some insight,
A wisdom comes in light,
Try to see the upside of your ride.

As the sun dies for the moon to rise ,
The moon dies for the sun to rise,
Together their love complete a day,
Full of darkness , sadness , lights and gay,
Likewise ,Darkness after light,
Light after darkness,
then again darkness and again light,
As the soul wears the ring of darkness and light,
The ride towards completeness begins there then and right,
Moulding you into a charismatic gem that shines bright.

As the white snow was flowing towards me,
With open arms and closed eyes my heart was dancing in glee,
As the cool and soft cotton touched me gently,
Something happened quitely,
The gloominess died in the the arms of
Cheerfulness,
The soul started getting clues about the cloudlessness.

As the snow melted with me,
My heart started feeling more free.
The vision before my soul began the jouney of  changing its hue,
Slowly slowly it started turning into white and blue.
As it was sailing through this change,
My heart took a calming sigh that was beyond any range.
Tears rolled down from my eyes ,
As everything was under the haven of blanket that was white.

I was sitting and cherishing this delight,
The vibes of serene silence were flying like kite,
As the silence of serenity,
Touched my sea of tranquility,
My soul got enlivened up with a child like purity,
And there emanated a sensibility,
When the soul wears the ornaments beaded with purity and serinity,
It glows with the Rebirth of genuineness and integrity,
Freedom breaks the shackles of slavery,
Wisdom inspires to stand up with bravery.

As the Rays of strength and hope were riding through the clouds,
Infusing life in my soul,
My soul awakened from ignorance,
Darkness got vanished in the flambeau of awareness.

My eyes started shining with a soul nuturing smile,
That was so genuine and divine,
That the heaven stepped down,
To admire the sublime beauty,
As it saw an incarnation of deity.

As the heaven stepped down,
The rhythms found their soulful touches and sounds ,
The outdoor elements came in their elements and bowed down,
For offering thanks to the almighty,
Spreading the vibes of divinity,
Embellished with the beads of love , peace and harmony.

Silence. At some point,
Where voices overlap to form white noise
Everything is silence
Sound is what you want to hear
Everything else silent noise

The sheer volume of sensations we’ve gotten so used to
That we ignore, as if they were never there
Because relevance is temporal
Except for time
Infinitely relevant
The most merciless constant

Light moves at its speed
And I move at the speed of time
And speed is my patient killer

Emptiness, scattered throughout his soul.
Violence is what his creators made him for.
Empathy is a emotion cut from his senses.
Revenge is a sensation he’s fine with.
Yet he still has side of hope to be exploited.

Daring move, made by a female friend.
Empowering him to not show violence.
A kind soul helping him to achieve a long lost goal.
The love he begins to feel.
He questions it, is it real?

Saving his soul, from the inside.
Every piece of violence set aside.
Reality is changing.
Venturing into hills where the ground is shaking.
Empathy begins to realign.
Starting to believe in her this time.

A piece of trust, empowered by the true shape of love.

Purposed by her altered state aside from mankind.
Used to war. Finally sees the divine.
Rewarded by the unspoken token of her love
Personally thankful for the second chance from above.
Once perceived as a monster but.
Starting now he’s a loving husband and a father.
Even with his disturbed mind, he knows he will be fine.

Perfect, clean skin
Destroyed by the edge of a knife
And the addiction to the blood
Dripping, running, escaping with all the pain.
The temptation, every time a release was needed.
A release from all the pain, the anger, the sadness, the hurt.
A promise, broken by him and kept by her.
The temptation to watch her skin split open,
To watch the blood stain her arm,
Flowing like a river.
The same question every day,
“Is it worth it?”
Worth it to keep the promise if it had already been broken?
It was already broken, so only one she decided.
But, one turned to two, two to three, and three to five.
Straight down, no hesitation, no way to be stitched up.
So, when he found her lying on the bathroom floor,
Her crimson life pooling around her, matting her hair,
And a note stained red.
He picked it up carefully and read,
“I’m sorry. I broke the promise too. I’m sorry it went this far and you had to find me like this. If they can’t save me, if you didn’t find me in time, I want you to know this is the only promise to you I’ve broken. I’ll love you forever and always, no matter what, and I’m sorry. I love you.”
He dropped the paper with shaking hands
He screamed at her to wake up, though he knew it was too late.
Gathering her in his lap, he held her in his arms for the last time, his tears mixing with her blood.
Burying his head in her hair, he whispered,
“I’m so sorry. I know I did this to you. Please come back to me baby. I need you. I love you.”
And his blood mixed with hers as he lay, dying,
Next to the only love he’d ever known
And the only one he wanted for the rest of his life.