Am I really self-centered?
Well, certainly am I not selfish
Always, do I help people in need
And you definitely cannot accuse me of greed
For my family, cousins and friends
My love and care has no end!

Am I really self-centred?
Not boasting, but am I kind
And loyal to a fault
Certainly, am I a compassionate adult
And do my best to empathise with people
As far as possible
Including even those who don't deserve it
Because, I know what it is like
To be ignored or laughed at
Hence, are there certain jokes
For which I do my best
To keep a poker face
Since, I do not appreciate insensitivity
After all, known am I, for my sensitivity!!

Am I really self-centred?
Yes, there are certain times
When I do tend to be self-obsessed
However, not too often do they come
In fact, often has my heart bled
Even when it was not required!!

Am I really self-centred?
Well, many a mistake have I made
However, always do I apologise
And give people space
I don't repeat my mistakes either
Because, truly do I care
For the wellbeing of others!!

Am I really self-centred?
Many a time, have I cried
Even for relatively small things
Doesn't that tell you something?
The fact that I care a lot
About other people's opinions
Should ideally show, that I am self-centred, NOT
In my life, have I learned a lot of lessons
And, over a period of time, changed for the better
Hope this at least provides the answer
To the question I have been repeatedly asking
Genuinely sorry am I, for all the time wasting
However, I am sure you would have understood by now
As to why and how
This issue means so much to me!!

Need I, to change myself?
Well, the question is easy not
Because what doth change exactly mean?
Need I, to change my behaviour?
Depends does it, on the situation
However, were you to ask me to change
Something that hath been a part of me
For years and years
The answer shall a resounding no be
Because, were I to change my nature
Then Ashwin I shall be no longer!!

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to anger management
Change I can, certainly
Of course, it is but something
Already am I working on
And I boast not
But strides, have I already made
Thus, am I on the right track

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to self-belief
Agree we all should
That this is but something
Which I need to work on
Because, currently drowning am I
In a pool of insecurities
Some of them being self-created
But yes, working on it am I
Through therapy and reading the gospel everyday
And of course, penning poems like this!!

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to certain painful incidents in the past
Do well I certainly could
To make an earnest effort
Towards forgiving and forgetting
Not because those people deserve it
But for my own inner peace
As have said repeatedly
All those dear to me

Need I, to change myself?
Well, were there something
Which I am happy with not
Then yes, may some tweak be needed
Because, as said a very dear cousin sister of mine
Change is but something
Which would keep me happy and protected

Need I, to change myself?
Well, when it comest to my character
Once again, the answer shall a resounding no be
Of course, a few behaviours here and there
Can altered be, if required
But then, doth it apply to everyone
And most importantly
Believe in myself, I must
No matter what
Again the words of my dear cousin
Amen!

If you ask me about me, I can honestly and painfully tell you I fall in love with people whom never been loved. I always want to pour myself in the mouths whom never tasted love. I suffocate them doing so. I drown them in it. I bury them. I love harshly, dangerously, strongly because loving them with the efforts and knowingness, that I too was never loved. Never understood. Never heard. I want to stand in for all that never was in their lives. I see deserving in them, deserving of all the love within me. My love is gluttonous.