i am done with being
strong; i am not an earthquake
or a hurricane, and this is not
natural, just a disaster

i want to collapse,
i want to relax,
i want to relapse

there comes a point in life when you feel nothing
you can smoke a pack of cigarettes in one setting and not even get sick
you can cut yourself ten times over and never feel the *****
you could walk through a thousand graveyards and not even be afraid
there comes a point in life when you feel nothing

there comes a point in life when you feel nothing
and it looks like you've given in and given up
and nobody understands this is how it goes
because when you scream and shout what you feel deep in your pitiful soul
still nobody knows
there comes a point in life when you feel nothing

to be numb is not to be weak
to be numb is not to belittle the being
to be numb is not misunderstanding
to be numb is not to abandon the self
there just comes a point in life when you feel nothing

Quietly she sits surrounded by the buzzing of people
are those whispers about her?
...no they can't be, but what if they are?
is it her outfit, her hair, is is something she did, something she said?
of coarse not, she is just a normal girl
...quiet but normal
but oh how she wishes to be normal
to be free of the constant worries
to no longer endure this fear that is eating her up inside
to no longer be consumed by this plague known as anxiety
to be happy
to be normal

I love her so much
She loves me too
Our intense love brings so much good
Laughter and joy
Company and intimacy
But at the same time
We worry so much about each other
It results in sadness filling up our hearts
Upset with the fact that the other may be having a bad day
Or a bad night
Upset with the fact that there are thousands of miles separating us
Across the ocean
In a different country
How I wish to hold her on those bad days
And kiss her to sleep on those hard nights
How I wish to be there in person to comfort her
So she not only has my words but my embrace
I need her to smile every day
To know I'm doing my job right
Because her happiness is my everything
She makes my world spin
Without her, I don't have much
These few bad days and bad nights
Are well worth it
She is my never ending bliss

People say they aren't racist and thats a flat out lie
I mean they no longer separate our kind
but they act like color doesn't survive
these people are color blind
they don't admit that I'm  different
and I'm tired of it
people take of your mask
and show your face
we are still people but we are people of a different race