To the boy who made me cry the most
Who's curious enough to steal my heart
But isn't man enough to handle it
Yet taught me the most about love

Today I found myself in this coffeeshop
Its not actually my thing
I always thought it's impractical and just a waste of what little fortune I have
But I needed to get out
Have a breathe of fresh air
Much needed walk
See humans
Hear them talk
At least
While I
Alone with my thoughts
Not a single audible word
Though there were few interactions
Glimpses
Minimal smiles from the crew
Some thoughts still suffocates me
Especially when I think about
How I am just nothing to you
How it all was just wishful thinking
How it had all ended before we even begun
How it was all just for fun
And when I caught myself
Drifting in these toxic thoughts
I get back to my reality
Alone but not totally lonely
I just have to get used to this
Be comfortable in my solitude
Learning to enjoy this process
Of self exploration
And mastering the art of letting go.

There's a constant battle inside me
Between doing the right thing and choosing to be happy
Being happy wins when you're around
When you're gone doing the right thing takes over

You are not missing out.
You have to take a break.
You need to keep your sanity.
You have to be sane.

The world will always run it's course.
It does not wait
Nor does it stop
But life is not a race

You have to stop in order to appreciate the view in front of you
You need to be patient and wait for your turn
You get to sleep to refresh your body
Taking a break is natural thing

It is our mind and thoughts that fastens up our pace
But we control our minds and our thoughts
And once we let go of it
It will fallback to what we trained it to do.

I am but a thousand words
A million melodies flowing freely
A spider web of emotions
A spiral highway of thoughts

Today I decided to put myself first
To fight for what I rightfully deserve
A respect that I demand from you
And a respect that I owe to myself.

Today I will be strong for me
I will not bargain my value
I will not do what you plead
And I will learn to love myself more than I have loved thee.

Today I wake up facing the same struggles again
But today I will stand firm on my decision
Until this becomes a habit
A habit that's indespensible between loving myself and knowing my worth.