turns out that the more water you drink
the dryer your mouth is when
a pool of it runs down your throat
leaving your tongue sardonically parched

and writing poetry in classes filled with numbers
doesn't make them any clearer
      (however it does make you clearer)

people self-sooth all the time
playing with lips
hair
squeezing arms
clicking pens

and wearing dresses results
in legs sticking to chairs
eating a lot
makes your abs hide

stay away away away
you won't for long

the more water you drink
the more parched you become

I speak you
     (portuguese, spanish, english aside)
I speak you almost fluently
and now I wear shiny lip-gloss more often
since I'm speaking you without touch
for now. and
    distance is beautiful
  --like your knuckles
and the back of your taught ankles--
which are not noticed enough
(they hold everything together)

much like distance.

I think both are beautiful on you.

I hate pickles
neon green colored cubes of sweet bitter vinegar fermented cucumbers that have lost their identity in green no. 3
and dealing with oblivion seems like
(green pickles)
......disgusting and
it makes me lose my identity.

so please give me adrenaline for
whenever my heart sinks
so I don't fall into oblivion
sans-identity

like pickles

lips become cherry red when I cry
and chasing cars hurts from my ears
                                                 down to my toes
because it was never wasting time

   I almost killed my jeep battery
(forgot to turn the lights off)
             drinking coffee to Iowa cornfields and a resurrected yearning
maybe I'll leave (I want to)
            --LA, Paris, Austria, Versailles, Rio, Carmel, Amsterdam, Mumbai--
I'm audacious and arrogant--much too proud of
                               my flaws
leaving would be easy: intoxicating
like caffeine
       stars
       fear
       laughing kisses
but staying means home and English and standing out like a sore thumb (a beautiful one) in public
            and the people I deeply love
                                      (and need) I can admit that now
so I'll watch the Capri Sun orange sunset
once again tonight
and try to intoxicate myself with
               cornfields, sassy 8th graders, my beautiful examples of true love, ADD, bashful boy,
                       and pieces of the world
  
                                                        ­              on my body

blue hair skinny black lipstick million cheap bracelets
girl stands in front of a mirror
and I swallow myself

"you pull blue hair off beautifully"

because she does
and who says what beauty is

you are art

shining eyes and imperfect skin
choose your addiction

life is mine

I like the thin blond hair on the back of your neck
in the light
and the way you touch your lips when you're nervous
(yes I know you don't know you do that)

these 16 years (square root of 256 with a root of 4 8x2)
spinning anxiously excitedly
baby jeep happiest thing independence is sweeeeeet

raindrops are euphoric thank you spring
please bring a storm to shake
my bones

my ****** control
growing ravenously
frick this shoot
I can control my mouth too

how could I ever explain
the hiccups in my brain
(what was i just thinking)
writing 'bubblegum tongue '
degrades
the act of kissing

and I am full of carbohydrates caffeine almond milk
(vegetarian yes)
unmotivated to go vegan alone
sitting against a wall
with pink pig headphones in--my sister's I swear
reading grand hopeful endless infinite
quotes
oblivious to everything
fake
around me--I'm too preoccupied with
finding my alter-ego

                                                      ­                   was machst mich so glucklich

you can kiss
all the boys you want
pretty girl
but naproxen sodium doesn't
numb my pain
anymore than empty touch
will numb yours