Everything is jumbled in my head,
Nothing makes sense at all.
It's like I'm awake but I'm still dreaming.
I'm in the middle of a crowd,
But I'm still all alone.

They ask me what's wrong, all I can say is, "Honestly,
I can't express myself right now, forgive me."
I don't even know what's going on,
I used to think that life was easy, that you just live till it's time to leave,
But boy, I never realized how hard it is to do just that.
Live, till it's time to leave.

3rd of July 2010
how I would love to live that day again.

you were there but so was he.
you were special but so was he.

"lets take a cab", he said.
"No, we'd rather walk instead."
they went and we walked
down the staircase of the mall,
your hands perfectly planted on my hips,
like they were always meant to be.

my heart skipped a beat with every step we took,
the whole thing felt like a Nicholas Sparks book.

then you said those three words,
i had been waiting for.
and you became a part of me.
and me a part of you.

now almost fours years later,
the thing between us has just grown greater.
and with every kiss and every hug,
you still make me fall more in *love.

In my diluted youth,
I used to believe,
our world was perfect.

Spending so many nights,
dreaming with my eyes open,
imagining the impossible,
and creating a parallel universe,
in which I was his to hold..

But like everything else,
my thoughts were
ultimately flawed.

My heart had written its own story,
*a fiction.