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If we'd lived like normal people-
All of this could have been avoided.
But we didn't.
We were nuts and desperate.
We couldn't help but create this
nothingness that drove us completely crazy,
sad,
empty.
Still, no one's desperation came close
to matching mine.
They all seemed to be able to go back to their lives.
They got scuffed up and they got on with it,
Only I seemed to be left behind,
crying and screaming,
wanting some satisfaction,
wanting to feel something.
I always sought solace in places
where I know, absolutely,
that it did not exist.

Is this what insanity feels like?
looking backwards in time
done so effortlessly
revisiting those moments
that made life absolutely magical
that shattered hopeful spirits thoroughly
smiling sadly

looking forward in time
done with difficulty
trying to imagine the unimaginable
hoping for sunshine and gold
expecting only heartache and pain
sadly smiling

why the pessimism?
Trying to say it's easier looking back than forward...
11:59 pm**
and I remember that night
when I asked you
why you never told me about
those feelings
that you had
or lacked
and you responded
only with
"because that would have
made it real"

— The End —