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-_-
Alaska Young Feb 2022
-_-
part of choosing me
is letting go of you
.
Alaska Young May 2019
.
I wanna hear you saying
"I love you"
But when you utter the word
I heard
"I'm sorry".
...
Alaska Young May 2019
...
what's meant to be will always find a way
like a trapped water finding its way out
Alaska Young Jun 2019
Best days
Ok days
Worst days

Which day are you living on?
Alaska Young Sep 2019
life is a never ending series of
"I'll figure it out."
Alaska Young Jun 2019
we are not our failures
we are what we choose to become after those failures
Alaska Young May 2019
Everyone wanted to be happy.

Me, I just want to be a little less sad.
Alaska Young May 2020
Living in this world was never easy for me
to be honest i used to find peace in the thought of death
end of all - pains, sufferings, trials, heartbreaks
because why try hard to live when dying is hundred percent easier
I socialize, but deeply I hate human interactions
My mom used to tell me when she's mad
that I'm better off alone
And I must admit I'm really good at being alone
My best friend said that she can't imagine someone would tame my attitude, I'm twisted, complicated and I can't blame them
I don't even understand myself most of the time
ANX
Alaska Young Sep 2017
ANX
I wanna scream so loud that no one will dare to listen on everything I had in my mind.
*******.
*******.
*******.
****.
Alaska Young Jul 2021
STOP
romanticizing my poetry
to fit your narratives
this isn't about you
Alaska Young Jan 2022
all these conversations i made up in my head
just to fill up our lost communication
Alaska Young Jan 2018
One day you may lose all the ways on
how to fix a broken trust
But always remember
that you are blessed with a beautiful heart
forgiveness will overflow
and mend all your broken parts.
Alaska Young Apr 2017
We gave up
knowing that no amount of courage
will win the fight  we're fighting
We gave up
not because we're  coward
but because we are brave enough to let go of what we're fighting for the longest time
And then we realize
we don't have to fight for somebody
who don't even know the war we're facing.
#bravery
Alaska Young Mar 2017
Before the sun sets on west
Before it rises again on somewhere’s east
Before the dusk and dawn came
I want to hear you again calling my name
Before the words of goodbye fall
Before the parting demand its toll
Before we reach the finish line
I want to ask, have you ever been mine?

And after all the before has been done
After all the memories had gone
After the ending had finally come
I want to tell myself hey lady you’ve got this one.
Alaska Young Jul 2021
at times
I wish I could live backwards
hoping that I could meet
the happy version of me
Alaska Young Aug 2019
you are nothing
but a distant lingering
memory
of who
i used to be
Alaska Young May 2019
People who are very cautious of
who can walk in and out
of their lives
experience pain in extreme way

You can't blame their hearts.
Alaska Young Jul 2021
no thoughts,
just me
missing the
writer me
Alaska Young Sep 2019
i think our biggest problem today
doesn't lie anymore
with not saying what we wanted to say
but
in listening only to what we wanted to hear
Alaska Young Apr 2017
You left me hanging on a cliff where in any second
I will fall and break
together with my false hopes and half-wishes I made for both of us.
P.S.
Truth already slapped me, hard actually.
Please comfort me with a lie.

Always,
A
Alaska Young May 2017
My thoughts were corrupted and all I can sense were the inkling of some vividly fresh memories I kept from the days I've known you. These fresh memories that reminds me that somehow for the first time in the longest time I could actually fall in love into someone. I can feel the butterflies flutter in my stomach. I can managed a flirty gasps when your message popped up. I can feel the reddening of my ear when your name resounds somewhere else. It's a good beginning for a fresh love. Isn't it?
But darling, I choose to end this beginning sooner than I thought. I didn't want to, I HAVE TO. This madness I think is too beautiful that it should end up sooner than it begins. Sooner before I drown myself on my own-self made pool. As they say, all good things must come to an end. It's just ours ended sooner than I expected. Better than I expected, I guessed. This is the end and I can't still figure it out if it ended too tragic or too beautiful. I hope it's the latter. Dear, I want you to know that it was never my intent to fall as much as getting hurt. I was lured by false hopes and forget that possibility don't exist in a world like ours. But don't worry I'm on my way to renounce all the love I have for you. Again, I didn't want to, I HAVE TO. It's for myself. For me to begin again. Half-hoping that I will never meet you again halfway. If I do I might trip off again and fall. So please honey, I'm letting you go now hoping that this is the best for both of us. And if we will meet again at some point, I'm begging you choose the other way. The way that will lead you somewhere else, not on me. I guess I have the right on that favor knowing that I do the sacrifice now. At least do me that favor. Thank you. I know you will. And if someday time permits me to tell all this, I will be brave enough to tell you that yes, I do fall in love with you in the shortest span of time.

Always,
Potato
Alaska Young May 2017
You broke my heart
and asked me if I'm fine?
How dare you!
Alaska Young Jul 2019
your drunken eyes
keep telling me
a different story
Alaska Young May 2019
I wonder how could I forget
something I just said
in a blink of a second
but couldn’t forget
every detail of you.
Alaska Young Apr 2017
I hate when people  look me in the eyes
I'm afraid
they might know the truth.
#truth
Alaska Young Apr 2017
They asked me who's the lucky guy.
And I faked a nearly broken laugh.
#FakenessIsReal
Alaska Young Aug 2017
What do I learn in life so far?
Go, give **** with this one.

"don't throw ***** like confetti
choose only the fuckworthy ones"
Alaska Young Jun 2019
People die
              and feelings change

       Feelings die
              and people change

                    but from the start,
                                              in between,
                                                           and in the end....
                                                                                                  life always,
                                                                                          always goes on..
and so do you.
Alaska Young May 2017
They say gravity is the sole responsible for everything that falls
But I guess, gravity has nothing to do with
falling in love
Because when I fall for you
You don't pull me towards you
No force was exerted to draw me closer
I willingly fall
I let myself break
I let myself get hurt
Perhaps you're more than gravity.
Alaska Young May 2020
How many of your days here are happy?
And how many of those are real?
It is my sincerest wish that you find real happiness.
Alaska Young May 2019
i knew some who
stopped writing
perhaps
they were happy enough

i share in your joy
Alaska Young Jun 2017
I love your stories.
Happy. Sad. Confusing.
Secrets. Fairy tales. Tell-all.
Drunk or not.
Truth or lies.
I don't care.
I love hearing your stories.
I love looking into your eyes and sees the fire slowly burning.
With a flame that ignites the moment your mouth started to utter.
I love how you look for my gasps when your words fall.
I love hearing your stories.
It's like being your horcrux.
Like some part of your soul is hidden on me.
Dark maybe, but something treasured.

-E.T.E-
Feel free to tell me everything. I'm more than be willing to listen.
Alaska Young Sep 2019
they say they will like you
until the storm within you starts stirring up
and blew them all away

and you were left alone
because
no one
no one
survived your storm
Alaska Young Jun 2019
The harder you hit the bottom,
the higher you can bounce.
Alaska Young Jan 2019
your smell is the closest
I've been to home
Alaska Young Apr 2017
Instead of going with the flow,
why not stop the flow?
Instead of letting it grow,
why not let go?
Instead of drowning in to your feelings,
why not swim out of it?
And most of all,
instead of dreaming,
why not wake up?
Face the reality
Stop the false hopes
Forget the half-wishes
And save your yourself.
That's how I fell out of love.
Alaska Young Jul 2019
don't feed on memories
it'll keep you starving
Alaska Young Feb 2022
the thing is
i don't know if it's my ego hurting
or my heart?

how do you know if someone's indifference
really hurts you?
Alaska Young Jan 2020
it took--
countless sleepless nights
river of tears; ocean of sadness
dozen of prescribed pills
never-ending cycle of time travel to the memories we shared, half-hoping it'll happen again
years of doubting my worth
BUT I GET IT NOW
-----------------------------------
"Why you didn't stay?" I asked myself.
And the answer hit me like a thunderstorm stirring in a hot humid afternoon waiting to strike anytime:

"Some people came into our lives not to save us, but to teach us how to save ourselves."
i save myself today
Alaska Young Aug 2019
i lost count of sheep
on waiting for you to tell me something
i want to hear

i lost track of time
on waiting for you to catch me
in this falling game

but above all

i lost myself
trying to be someone
you want me to be
Alaska Young Jun 2017
If I'm gonna pray for you, I'm afraid you would not be given.
If I'm gonna take the risk, I'm afraid I will lose.
If I'm gonna be honest, I'm afraid I'll messed up.
If I'm gonna take the slightest courage of telling you about how I love everything about you, I'm afraid you'd hate me.
So I'm taking the step back.
I'm giving up.

We will end here.
And our story will never be told.
Just one request:
STOP giving me ******* reasons to hold on.
Alaska Young May 2017
I turn my back
Without glaring
Heartbroken
Half-crying
Knowing that I will never be called back.
It's painful.
But I know it's the right thing to do.
I meet the end.
The finish line of madness.
I hope I wouldn't meet you again halfway.
Thank you.
Alaska Young May 2020
i don't forgive easily
i hold grudge
tight and firm
i hold it like an impaled object
stabbed in me
afraid that if I make a slight wrong move
or have the courage to pull it off
i might bleed to death

help me.
-slight confession (part1.1)
Alaska Young Jul 2021
I wish
I could be a good writer
the one that could give light thru poetry
but when I started to type
my heart only whispers broken words
Alaska Young Jan 2018
grieve only for what you can't control
Alaska Young May 2019
He tells me, he wouldn’t.
Yet he ******* did.
Alaska Young Feb 2022
if there is one thing I owe to love
that is poetry

whether I'm loving or hurting
it made a poet out of me
and I couldn't be thankful for
having to weave these feelings
into words
and gave it to the world
Alaska Young Jul 2021
dearest inay,

you won't be able to read this
but still I wanted to write
hoping that angels will whisper my words to you

inay, your passing is the most painful I ever had
no words can explain the pain I felt on that November morning
and after half a year, tears still streaming
I wish I could blame someone
I wish I could just say that it's just a matter of time
and everything will be okay
but I know deep down, everything will never be the same

I didn't tell you before
but you are the definition of a mother to me
you are so selfless and caring and loving
and when I'm with you
I feel like I'm a child that needs protection
not an independent girl people have known me to be

I pray, God will let me meet you again in another lifetime
I wish you could be my child
so that I can show you how good mother you are.

i miss you so much and it breaks my heart knowing that in this life, we will never have a chance to speak again
Alaska Young Jul 2018
moments you shouldn't be visiting
quit tripping over them darling
i'm telling you, it's dangerous
it's like intentionally tripping again over the same rock
to willingly fall on the same spot you've been
it hurts
you already knew that
and it's ridiculous to be hurt by choice
it's crazy to made a mistake twice
so stop doing autopsies on memories
that died long ago
it's not worth it
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