**** honor
**** chivalry
**** that one *****
And **** her "bestie"
**** everyone
**** everything
**** The world
**** some girl
**** my life
**** the strife
Take this knife
And ******* cut the pain away
**** my eyes
and **** my face
**** these times
and **** this place
****!

There is a face in my mind
Difficult to find
A girl who should be mine
A world thats out of time
It's a crime
I find
To not share these rhymes
I wonder why
I try
so hard just to find
A vanishing face
Deep in my mind

Dearest Darkness
Dearest Darkness
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
The world is in disarray
The nearest and farthest
Can you help me?
I will fight
Repair it anyway?
And no one cares
The world is living
The world is dead
But only slightly
Can we help ourselves?
Can we stop it?
Can you speak to me?
On what must happen

Dearest darkness
Can you hear me
The world is in disarray
Can you help me
Repair it anyway?
The world is living
But only slightly
Can you speak to me
On what must happen
Can we stop it?
Can we help ourselves
The world is dead
And no one cares
I will fight
The nearest and farthest
Can you hear me?
Dearest darkness

I need a girl
A girl who wont take me for granted
A girl who cares what happens
To me
A girl who's loyal
To the end
A girl who wont choose a friends boyfriend
Over her own
What happened to loyalty
The world is crumbling at my feet
What happened to loyalty?

Malice
Meticulously marking
My malevolent mind
I put up shields to stop this very thing
Before my eyes my heart is breaking
Again
I said I wouldn't let anyone
Seep through the cracks again
Why?
We weren't together long
But when we were
I thought it could go far
Now the stars have faded
And I am left
Painfully jaded

Careless an callous
Between a rock and a hard place
I see a face
An angelic face
That keeps me wanting more
I long for her
And wonder
Why?
What makes you think
You can walk all over me
What makes you think
I'm strong enough
To be your friend
Things barely began
When you chose to end
I fear I may be damaged
Beyond all repair
Now tell me
How the ****!
Is that fair?

You're beautiful
But you disagree
You're perceptive
Yet you overlook me
I'm here
And I always have been
Enamored by your grace
Captivated by your face
Hoping for the tiniest taste
Of life with my arm around you
Forward
I know
But thats who I am
I know I can make it last
All you have to do
Is give me a chance

I can't believe
All I see
Is inter-weaved
And stuck together
I die inside
And realize
That no one can look me in the eye
I'm hypnotized
And destitute
Wish I was resolute
So that there is nothing to refute
My mind is a maze
Of passageways
That lead deep inside
Painful memories
And twisted thoughts
This is my state of being
Help me

Your beauty blinds me
It takes me
Can break me
I can't see
When greeted with your radiance
Lost in your innocence
May I have this dance?
Attached to your glow
Which blazes hotter than the sun
And I come undone
And then I know
You know who you are
I'm falling
For a white hot star

My world comes crashing down
Around me like a storm
Raging forth
An unstoppable force
The pain tears at my flesh
And I am nothing
Once again
Tears fall upon the glass
How could it happen so fast
I am attached
Nothing I can do
It would never work
I know
As I attach to her
She still clings to her past
I find myself amidst tentacles
Glowing green
Pulling me
Under the sea
As if a ship overturned
The darkness
Yes
The darkness has returned

I'm tired
But wired
On fire
With desire
I admire
The life of a liar
Steeped in dire...
...Need
This seed
Brings me
To the start of this deed
Released
And deceased
I'm diseased
And sick
This wick
From my candle
Grows dim
Do you know this?
This bliss
Exists
With insomnia's sweet kiss

Virulent virtue
Variably veering
Away
A coldness so dire
My own frozen fire
Desire
Is abstract
Attack
The ones who yearn for life
We are guardians
We are the bricks
Your blood is the mortar
A red wall made slick
By your gruesome torture
The future
Is oblique
I seek
An answer
For the weak

Blood is flowing from my veins
Settling in darkness
At the bottom of this glass
I hold this chalice to your face
And shudder as you drink deep
This drink
A drink of death
A small taste of hell
And well
The goblet is my power
My very own holy grail
Because
Death is a venerable vintage
A spirit of blood
A wine of gore
A variable incentive
As the hoards begin their war
Another song
That sounds the same
But some how different
And not in vain

Have you ever watched a galaxy fall apart?
Have you ever felt you had a shriveled black heart?
Have you ever seen the colder side of life?
Have you grown up in poverty and strife?
Have you ever wished to end things upon a knife
Or were you one of the lucky ones?
Sometimes
I find
I cant deny
The pain
And the fury
The rain
Makes things blurry
Eyesight clouded by the latter
When you realize
Your mind has shattered

Mindless hypocracy
In limited democracy
A feeling of urgency
Judging all that we can see
Pain is a fallacy
And a fantasy
Erratically
We scream
In agony
Inside
I find
I can't deny
Why
I find myself being tortured
Becoming
Mindless
Without a thought
Sightless
In all I've got
Flightless
And weak
At the end I come to realize
I'm lifeless

Hurry, hurry
Say the mice as they scurry
The cats in a fury
And my vision is blurry
Faster, faster
bow to your master
Dreams that appear in plaster
Built by demonic stone casters
Ring, ring
That bell does sing
With a boom
A crash
And a ding
The sound
Flies around
And puts the cat in a fury
The mice scream as they scurry
Hurry, hurry

In the beginning
It was pure
It was full
I was sure
That I loved you
But it ended
When you broke my heart in two
We started over
Again and again
And once again
I see the signs I see
When things must end
I cant bring myself to do it
To break her heart again
I know I still love her
Enough to care that much
But I dont know
If love is really true
Should I hurt this girl
Or stay miserable in where I sit
In this poem I fear
A message will be sent
As her eyes scan the words
To read it will be tough
I know I love her still
But just not enough
I hate the message I must send
Because a heart always breaks
When things must end

When it rains
I count the little droplets on the window
I avoid the cold black widow
As it hangs high at the ceiling
It gives me an odd feeling
A feeling that makes me wish
That even if I'm rich
Death would be my escape
From a world
Hollow and *****
From a vision
Of pure and total hate
Why do these people hate me
Why do they hurt and interrogate me
Asking unspoken questions
Looking for unknown answers
Invalidating my prestige
Through intolerably hateful banter
Yes
I see this
And feel the pulsing of my veins
Yes
I see this
Every time it rains

What am I gonna do?
Whatever you want me to?
I'm so far away from you
And I don't understand
This life I cant stand
Secrecy
Is a fallacy
A memory
Instantly
Drives me away
My mind continues
To scream
And to shout
What is my life about?
So
What do I do?

I take a drink
And then I think
I'm not alone
But still on the brink
Of insanity
In calamity
Flashing lights
A gun blast sounds
It keeps me sane
It keeps me bound
I sip again
And take another shot
I sit again
And get shot a lot
You all might think it's lame
But I love my *****
And my video games

I cant seem to find
That solid reason why
I try, and I try, and I try
To keep my spirits high
The world just falls apart
Shatters at my feet
Hoping my heart will start
As I fall down to my knees
Seeing the light through wary alarm
As I lie face down in the street
The blood does pool around me
Footsteps echo all around
A person who no one can see
A reverberating sound
One that doesn't exist
And now I'm gone
Another mark
On another list
It's all the same
Nobody really knows my name

Tyranny
Is infamy
And it consumes us
Instantly
It absorbs us
Completely
The source
Incredibly
Is our own problems
Our own people
Change occurs
In a colored steeple
As others take a needle
To feel good
To get healed
To feel understood
To be revealed
As one
One people
One race
One taste
No haste
Uncontrolled fusion
We're all simply human

Let it pass
Is what they say
It's all in the past
One thousand yesterdays
But can they really tell
That inside I'm in hell
Trapped under a love spell
By someone who doesn't care anymore
And now I'm torn
Shredded to pieces
Battered and broken
In a river of tears
I sit soaking
Drowned in my fears
Can you hear the thunder
The thunder that pulls me under
The crimson tide
And the clover blood
I'm now undone
I know I cannot last
As I look into the past
Wishing the pain would pass
Till then I'll just stare
I'll stare through the looking glass
And try to forget the one who once cared

Thinking of a time
Thinking of a place
Thinking of a rhyme
Thinking of the face
That brings forth my power
Like a ******* tower
Higher and higher
We fly
Together
Whether the weather watches us wait
Is a question to be answered by the fates
Thinking
Wondering
Being
Pondering
The world around
Is out of the shroud
Keeping me down
Now I rise
I rise higher than ever before
I rise to meet the score
As I sit wondering and drinking
Drinking brings forth the thinking
Thinking of a time
Thinking of a place
Thinking of a rhyme
Thinking of the face
That makes me wonder

I know a place
A place of beauty
A place of serenity
A place which offers clarity
Salmon flock here
Bears feed here
Sasquatch wanders here
...Maybe
Among the redwoods
Ample and pure
Holding centuries
Of memories
Rising high
Up into the sky
I lie in wonder
The beauty taking me asunder
And under
In a feeling of awe
Mary Jane thrives here
Mushrooms thrive here
Men live here
But one thing rises above the rest
Of course...
You know...
You"ll see...
The beauty is breathtaking
All this I've come to know
In Humboldt County
Where the tall trees grow

What is talent?
Is it power
Is it pride
Should it show
Or should it hide
I know what you think
You ask why
I hear it all the time
You've got talent man
But do I
Can you measure talent
Through structure and rhyme
As much as i hear "you rock"
I hear "you ****"
Because they weren't happy with my words
Because it wasn't what they thought they should have heard
Because their friendliness must be paid for
not earned
I know that I'm good
I know that I should
Let my talent shine
But keep in mind
I'm not divine
I'm just a regular guy
Who loves to write
Works of rhythm and rhyme
I do not think I'm the best
I'm just like the rest
The rest of you who read my work
Who have felt the same pain and hurt
Your life reflected in my art
And also my heart
And so this is for you
All the ones who've
Seen the colder side
Had a reason they had to hide
For everyone who has ever cried
I write for one thing
Its the least I could do
for all of those who
have seen their lives through
the words I write, and then feel new
All of my readers
All of my friends
I write this for you
For, it is you, with the talent

Do you hear that?
Screaming silently
Into the night
My might
Is heated regrettably
My mood
Is chaos ensued
My life
Is passion renewed
Her face
Is matched by few
The visions
Explode into my view
All these things happen
When a spark
Burns anew

It sees without really seeing
It hears us without being
It kills
It steals
It doesn't feel
It has only it's will
To fight
This night
Not caring what's wrong or what's right
Locked in
So tight
At the very brim of fright
It expands with a shallow sigh
It takes control of everything
This, sunken eye

Clarity
In unity
Your scrutiny
Can never pay you well
Arrogance
Upon your stance
This final dance
From death
Twirling and whirling
And feeling so free
Hopeless and thoughtless
And caught in between
As the world keeps turning
And churning
With every lunar pull
Above
And beyond
In space that's so cool
Screaming
And careening
Off course
Of course
You know that to each single life form
Caught in this storm
Is caught in the throws of terror
Fairness in vitality
Death in severity
Life in virility
Pulling and tugging
Lifting and lugging
Laughing and crying
Living and dying
In the eyes I see the knowledge
I see the intelligence
The ability
The stability
Unable to attain
To ascertain
And regain
Life
Such is the struggle...
...
Of gods and men

I feel like screaming
I feel like dreaming
Serene
Obscene
Thoughts
Forgotten decency
Tired of living in secrecy
Feeling a thundering pain inside
The past has caused these scars
Like an irrational fear of cars
Images floating around in my mind
Forgotten memories lost in time
My life is gone in a flash
A check my body cannot cash
The tears they well up deep inside
But other than that I'm fine

How do I feel?
I feeling like killing
I feel like dying
Watching blood spilling
And sitting back and crying
Life is lost inside
A feeling of emptiness undefined
Charisma and friendliness
Nothing in tenderness
Wretched is the soul of loss
**** and beer
Make my insight clear
And it fills my heart with temporary cheer
I take a **** and chill
I drink and drink and still
No fill
But its all good
I understood
The difference in time
And on my mind
Is suffering as fleeting as the wind blows
And I know justice rules all
When blind eyes see
The darkest darkness breeds
Deep down a mind defines
Its life
With meek lines
Flowing outward into a black hole
That is a world of genesis
No longer in crisis
As I sit here and write this
I wonder if anyone will even like this
But I don't care
My veins are ice
My soul is frozen in time
But other than that I'm fine :).

A ghost
Trapped and wandering
A host
Lost and wondering
A conception
Of a fatal reflection
An unknown deception
That spreads it's infection
A specter who needs a confession
To be known
Not thrown
Into the dark
Hark
Who comes to pass
When a tortured man breathes his last
But cannot speak his fears
Horrible and grotesque were his years
A torturer becomes tortured and true
When I lay my eyes upon you
I see through
The fog that faintly filters forgettably
Regrettably
He dies
And is trapped watching you
Trapped in a dimensional center
He is dead and gone now
Nothing but a starry eyed specter

When starry night
Drapes the sky
I stare up
In wonder
Blinking out an ancient message
Telling of a long forgotten vestige
My mind wraps around
A wily, wiry, wavering sound
I find myself
Absorbed
And restored
Gaping upon the cosmos
Once again I hear the sound
Then my heart begins to pound
A pair of eyes draw me
To this conclusion
I see the night sky
When I see her blue eyes
A better muse than many
The color so vibrant
It does resound
This new specter
Has me star-bound

Sometimes
I hate my life
Sometimes
I think I should die
Sometimes
I've lost all my dreams
Sometimes
I just want to scream

I just want to scream
So loud

So loud
You hold your ears

You hold your ears
So tight

So tight
You lose all fear

You lose all fear
And desire
This fire
Which burns within
So much to be given
Sometimes
I think these things
Sometimes
I want to scream

What is my solace
My mind does try to find
A solid reason
For a season
Of solemn serenity
Eternity
Is fleeting
Can one truly grasp
The intricacies
Of the human mind
And try to find
Hope
Where there is none
And some
Continue to ignore the obvious
The world has given up hoping
All energy turns to coping
With life
And strife
And struggle
We're huddled
In fear
In a world full of malice
Tell me
What is my solace?

Beautifully white
The snow falls tonight
Upon the mountains and trees
Serenity is what I see
In the deep craterous tracks
Left behind by people
From the cold they become feeble
In this divinity
A fact
Inside a wondrous eternity
Now I can see
The visions and the thoughts
All pettiness lost
Yes I know
How one can change
Amongst the perfect white snow

(For Alizia)


The blocks upon which
Lives are built
Are torn asunder
And lined with guilt
The sadness engulfs you
Like fire
Desire
Breaks through the darkness
Take the hand of an angel
Come to take the tears away
My friend you see the world in gloom
Your mind is tainted with said doom
The light
Can ignite
That warm feeling again
Please
My friend
Smile
:)

She has fair skin
And crystal blue eyes
I can only love her within
I must let my passion hide
Unsure of whats ahead
Will I be a hero
Or will I be dead
Am I trapped at zero
Am I weighted down like lead
I look at her in a smokey haze
As I see her avoid my intense gaze
Will she know
Does she know
Can she know
What I wish I could show
Will she be
Can she be
The only one I see
I would say her name
But then this poem wouldn't be the same
And I would be playing a losing game
She is someone not to be tamed
She has to power to unlock my fame
She's the one in my aim
But I cant tell her
I cant see her
I cant be with her
A love, yes a love, that seems to fit like a glove
My heart beats
My mind thinks
I'll be nothing more than a silent love

I am a snake
slithering silently
Through solemn sorrow
To borrow
A soul
One rule
En jeweled
upon my tomb
Is that we cannot control
We cannot hold
Anything
Our dreams are fleeting
Passing us by
I need more money
I ask the world why
Why should I pay
For my voice to be heard
Why should I pay
for my own artwork
For that matter why should anyone pay
To shine
The world is a snake
Slithering silently
In solemn sorrow
To borrow
A life
In strife
And in turmoil
A large fight
Leads to radioactive soil
Children's bodies litter the ground
All around
And I ask why
Why should the innocent pay
For the crimes of a leader
Why must the poor pay
In blood and in fear
I awake in a scream
As I rub my eyes
I come to realize
It was a serpentine dream

Another draws my eye
And it is hard to find
The answers to a questionable mind
Wrapped up in the world around us
I am a patient man
And I do what I can
But she still does not see
Should I tell her
Will she hate me
I wish to see her
Completely
The very thought of her
Consumes me
The thought of being with her
Makes me happy
But will I break my chains
Of utter shyness
Or will I remain
In loving silence

A beast who travels by twilight
And kills his prey in the dead of night
With his soul aflame
For this new game
This game is cunning
This game is fast
This game keeps running
But it doesn't last
He stalks his prey so quietly
And kills this game with extreme ferocity
Who is this beast
Who turns the innocent into a feast
What is this beast I see
I know now,
This beast is me

From the past I am revealed

A lonely mind to which I appeal

To rescue him

From his dark past

Although my chances are slim

We make progress fast

I am his past-life manifestation

I must stop his dark delegation

With the only tools I know how

To make these in-mind dark creatures bow

I may not be able to save him

But **** it, I'll try,

I am Steven's rescuer, Daemon

Forever
In times of late
Forever
I will wait
To hold the tremendous power
In the very palm of my hand
My enemies will cower
In fear
It's clear
Whats been written in the sand
Call this an ancient writ
Once I have it
Forever
I'll hold this scepter
As an ancient
A powerful specter

Feel the amplifier
Pulsating a passion
that pushes and pursues
Values
Jubilantly jumping
In and out of musical Eroticy
Sensuality
Music brings forth the life
Inside
A mind
Trapped and lost
A maze
A daze
These days
It's my only escape
The wailing weeping and sweeping
Down the fret board of a fender
That centers me in Ecstasy
The pulsing pounding petering
From the bass drum
Teetering
And then some
Crash goes the cymbal
I let out a scream
A resonating symbol
That brings forth my dream
Arrogance
Pestilence
Enemy of silence
My musical Resonance
Stills the brewing violence

Listen...

What do you do
When your body lives
While your soul dies
When your spirit gives
While your body cries
I try
And I try
But I just cant get by
Her face burned into my eyes
And I cant make it back
And I lack
The ability
To see
Reality

Ramble, ramble
A treacherous sample
Of a love
So pure and ample
Red like an apple
Ramble, ramble
I found a new life
Ramble, ramble
I've seen through new sight
As I sit
Happy and drunk
Also lit
But I'm out of that funk
Which has kept me down for so long
Now I'll sing a new song
Of love and of turmoil
A feeling you cant spoil
Like a snake in his coil
I rest and revel
As I am a rebel
To the world I'm on the level
As a messenger of the devil
A minion so ample
Merely a sample
As on and on
Till a new dawn
I'll ramble,
Ramble

Its everywhere
In everything
Its over there
It makes me sing
A song of sadness and lament
I'm stuck in the ground
Trapped like inside cement
and I hear the music calling
and feel myself falling
again and again
I stop
and I lose my friends
I dont
and I end up dead
I cannot rest assured
as long as I'm pressured