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 Nov 2017 stephanie
leeannejjang
That night you confessed to me.
You said you like me.
I laughed at you 'cause I thought it was a joke.

Then I looked at you,
I saw pure sincerity in your eyes.
That's when it hit me,
Your feelings are real.

Vague as it may seems,
I can't explain to you how I feel.
I feel hot over my cheeks,
But cold on my feet.

I'm not good at handling Love.
Cause you know it crumbles away
When you hold it too tight.

I'm not used being with someone,
Cause I'm always left behind.

But you see my dear,
If time would reset and we go back to that moment,
I'd still love to hear your confession again.
I want you to be selfish again.

Don't worry 'bout me.
I'm happy that you like me.

The next day you said you'll wait for me,
Until my heart is ready.
Please don't wait for too long.
If you get tired you can let go.

Don't worry 'bout me.
I'm used being alone.

Believe me when I say this my old love,
You'll always have a special part in my heart.
It may not be the same as me to you.
But it's something I want to treasure as long as I can.
#english
#poems
#heart
 Nov 2017 stephanie
Alexander
When I say “hold me”
I don’t just mean “don’t let me go”.
I want you to bring me as close as possible
And make our heartbeats align

In that one moment,
In that perfect embrace,
Our souls fused into one.
I could see it on your face.

If I wasn’t mortal
I wouldn’t have let you go.
I couldn’t freeze time then,
Still, I relive that second every day.

While I thought that everything was going to be fine,
You found the time to sharpen your knife.
And while I brought you close to my heart,
The blade struck deep and it cut me open.

As I lay here now,
With my final breath making its way home,
The last name I can think of
Is yours.
 Nov 2017 stephanie
loser
i met you;
                a universe,

a galaxy of orange stars
littered on your skin

a nebula
    you were a divination
                    a revelation
i thought you were invincible

         the sun peeks through the waves
and turns you to stardust

strewn upon my red ribbon arms
missing someone...
You are carved yourself into the walls of my soul and you refuse to fix that. You are really made of stone. Your heart cools down, when will it be completely frozen? And these words fix nothing. And my stomach is made of stone. I want to rip your neck off and then blame it on you. I want to rip my neck off and then blame it on you. Writing angrily puzzles words. Still, like this I can write faster. But I cannot go home. Hide my heart under a hood. The roof was blown off.
yeah he broke up with me
I simply can't stop
feeling so **** great,
Always getting away
my past and my fate.
 Nov 2017 stephanie
storm siren
Your heart,
Golden like my intentions.
Your voice,
Soft orange and inviting blue cascading through me like warmth I've never felt,
Safety I've never known.

Your hands trail my body,
Warm and somewhat calloused,
Tickling me softly,
Enough to force laughter out
But not quite enough to cause pain.

And kissing my lips,
My cheeks,
My face,
Flooding me with sensations
Of overwhelming love and kindness.

And I am content,
And I am happy,
And everything is well,
For the first time
In a very long time.
 Nov 2017 stephanie
CE
short circuit
 Nov 2017 stephanie
CE
There is something wrong with my programming.
It's the the way I was manufactured.
Wires are crossed and some are missing entirely.

I'll probably short circuit again. Life will leave my eyes as they roll back into my skull and I'll fall down and I'll look dead. If I'm lucky my head will bang into the table and I'll fall on the floor and bruise myself everywhere.
It'll prove I'm still alive.

It's not pleasant, but it's a human thing to do.
Computers don't have seizures.
Old poem that I spruced up a bit. About my experience with dissociative seizures.
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