What if I were to tell you,
that your soul dances in delight
every time your heart aches

                                Would you think her evil?

                                Would you conspire against her?

And what if I were to tell you
that the soul knows,
the knowledge of experience
          Are the fruits of its labor
That the wisdom
          hidden in pain,
          Are what it's after

And what if I were to tell you,
that without these,
                             You starve her,
                             Deny her,
                             Un-express her

Would you understand her now?
Would you give her the life she craves?
or
Would you continue to deny her existence
                                             ...and ultimately,
                                                              yo­urs?

--PY

I am not a book you can put down and pick up when you're up for it,
I am not the chorus of a song, I am the song in its entirety
I will  inspire to be a better person in the name of you,
I would choose to walk to the ends of the universe and pray not to fall,
only to have fallen into an abyss waiting for you,
only to have fallen so far in love with you.

I am like a rolling thunder constantly in movement,
I am human and my human heart is falling apart,
the alarms are ringing in my ears and my tears,
only feels the fear that my shivering hands feel.
I am human and my human heart is beating itself up for you.

I am not a book you can put down on a shelf to collect dust,
I am not the crumbs and crust at the end of what is left of a pizza,
nor am I a people pleaser, I am the embodiment of a raging storm
chose to conform to its environment because fighting a futile fight
is pointless.

I am not an owl awake in the night because I chose to stare at stars,
I am filled with scars that I am hoping the trail of a shooting star could fill,
the night ink drenched on a broken quill, the missing smile,
the living portrayal of denial and a hurting heart.

In my mind we are forever together, in my mind I am holding you,
sober news sounds better than drunk news, the world is safer
the later the hours turn and arm in arm, we are close.
I will always close my eyes and dream of that better life I painted,
even if it is tainted with the wet stains of streaming tears, I close my eyes
painting blue skies with a figure filled with dried eyes where cries
are silenced.
I am still painting, that Disney wedding embedding costumes into mind,
I might be blind but I'll still find my way to your arms, and each scar
is dissipating, the world is levitating on our shoulders
but it doesn't matter.

Please tell me I am still dreaming...because I would rather be dreaming
than imagining...

I am not a book you can put down and pick up when you want,
I am not a picture book with figures erased and faded ink, I am sinking...

I am not a book you can put down so ...please can you come pick me back up?

Some things remained close because they were never meant to be open,
not all is starlights, high tides and bright nights in each moment
but it is not to say that they won't appear or have appeared before you
the exit sign is still lit, your smile is cracking but the glue is before you,
I know I have said it many times before, how I urged you to stay strong,
to listen to a song, to meet people and get along but I was wrong...
sometimes staying strong isn't enough to keep you smiling or happy
and something is always lacking, so please listen to me;
you will make it, because bending and not breaking is your style,
and teddy, that smile, will arise before you as the way it has before
so you can choose the exit door or just hold on a little longer.
stand a little stronger, build yourself firmer, because you won't break,
there's a space filled with opportunities, chances, so without haste,
what is your sign? Is it a Leo, Capricorn or cancer? What's the answer?
It doesn't really matter, because signs don't define you, they define route
and the news that you aren't happy with the you, the you that you are,
is like lighting a burning star on fire just to wish of it from afar.
Take your signs, the exit one is still lit but so is the building
because you are not crumbling, not while I am here, friend.

Take a minute off your mind and don't mind the minute details,
they're like emails, trash boxed and binned, forever stuck in junk.
I know it's not about fun, it's heart and soul, tears and sweat
each moment could be a laughter packed with imminent regret
but you better not forget that I am your friend and I have hope
that you know what is the better road to take, the path to make,
the sea escapes my eyes like a wave clasping onto the shores
and before you, I see a strong piece of solid gold amidst the waves
never changing shades, always floating on as the sun overcasts a light,
and it reminds me that maybe that is enough to see in humanity
the flicker of light, a spectre of sight, a tiny bit of 'I'm probably not right-
but I don't really care', and to be fair, that's all is required.
Take the path that you wish to tread because what is walking a thousand miles for someone worth, when you're walking alone?

Oh honey, depression isn't pretty,
it isn't suppose to be,
people always connect sadness
with depression
but the connection is different,
it is a train of thought
like a chain cut short,
that is sturdily held together
but it doesn't last forever,
it is an armour that is worn
and polished everyday
just to say, 'I'm not sure'.

Oh honey, depression isn't pretty;
it isn't suppose to be,
and I want you to know clearly,
that there are always people
out there, somewhere,
who appreciate you for you
and who is nothing more than
a teardrop or a sweat dripping
away from help.

Some might ask,
'Are you depressed?'
and I can say, 'no I'm not',
so what I write is an expression of mind,
of how I wish you could find, that you
have a chance, because you deserve that chance,
the past is the past, a certain glance at the future
says that you could be doing so much more
and if you don't want to, that's your choice
but honey, depression isn't pretty
and it isn't suppose to be,
but you sure are beautiful,
so please keep staying strong
and marching on.