I CANNOT IMAGINE , THE ANGUISH YOU FEEL
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU CAN DEAL
I DO NOT AND CANNOT UNDERSTAND
I KNOW ALL YOU CAN REALLY DO IS HOLD HIS HAND
THIS IS YOUR CHILD,
THINKING AWHILE .
I CANNOT IMAGINE, GOING THROUGH THIS FIGHT,
NOW HOW MANY SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
HOW MUCH TIME YOU SPENT ON YOUR KNEES
HOW MANY TIMES SAYING OH GOD PLEASE
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND , THERE IS NO REASON
NEVER , IS THIS GOOD. NO MATTER THE SEASON
ASKING FOR THIS MIRACLE, JUST  OPEN YOUR EYES
HEARING IGNORANCE, PEOPLE, HUMANS, THEIR LIES
THE TRUTH YOU KNOW, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS THERE
THEY DO NOT KNOW THIS PAIN, THIS GUILT, THAT ONLY YOU CAN BEAR
THE WHAT IF 'S, THE COULD HAVE'S , THE WHY DIDN'T I'S
THE HOPE THAT LIES DEEP IN YOUR HEART, THE BURNING TEARS IN YOUR EYES
ENDLESS PRAYERS , AND HOPE S AND DREAMS
WILL THIS ENDLESS NIGHTMARE EVER END? IT SEEMS,
IT FEELS LIKE ETERNITY, JUST WAITING, HOPING,
COFFEE, MORE COFFEE, DEALING, COPING,
SLEEP, MY EYES, MY HEAD, GOD WHY
STAY AWAKE, KEEP PRAYING, KEEP HOPING
JUST BREATHE, JUST BREATHE, WHY
WHY , HIM, WHY THIS, WHY NOW
GOD, WHY, GOD WHY THIS, HOW??
WHAT CAN I DO? WHAT DO I DO?
PLEASE, PLEASE THIS IS MY LITTLE BOY!!
THERE IS NO DESCRIPTION, ITS NOT FEELING BLUE.
FEELING EMPTY, LOST, WANTING, TO
JUST SEE HIS SMILE, HEAR HIS LAUGH, SEE HIS EYES
JUST NEED A MIRACLE, GOD PLEASE
I CANNOT IMAGINE, I DON’T UNDERSTAND
I CANNOT IMAGINE, I'LL BE THERE I'LL HOLD YOUR HAND
DON’T GIVE UP, DON’T GIVE UP, JUST KEEP HOPING
THANK YOU FOR THE PEOPLE WHO ARE HERE , COPING
I CANNOT IMAGINE, BUT THESE ARE JUST WORDS
FORGIVE ME IF THEY HURT, I DO NOT MEAN TO
I JUST THOUGHT I COULD, TRY JUST WORDS OF
GOD PLEASE HEAR ME, LISTEN , LOOK DOWN FROM ABOVE
HELP HIM, OPEN HIS EYES, HEAL HIM, GOD PLEASE

GOD CAN YOU HEAR ME, GOD CAN YOU HEAR ME ?PLEASE??


I LOVE YOU MY DEAR. I AM STILL HOPING AND PRAYING.
LOVE ALWAYS, LOVE HOPE WEBB

Thursday, June 23, 2016
8:47 PM

I chose this one man over the other
The one loved me like no other
And it quietly tears me up inside
A large part of my heart and love has died
Another goes on. And tries so hard
To go on loving with a heart that is scarred

To live is risk, to lose is to gain
Some times love is more pain
If there were a quiet place to go
I would but no matter, I try, this other love must grow

To start again, to remember why
To not give up, to quit and cry
I need to move on and this for me is real hard
Im carrying on with a heart that is charred

I care so much and so deep
Its hard to get any good sleep
When I still at night
Give my thoughts to where there
Is no light

But the love that was ,
was what I thought was real
I have to give it up because
The other had to much for me to deal
With that , I say goodbye

Just in word not thought or heart
For in that other, is that part
Others didn’t get to see, but me
His love was entirely too much and it only consumed me.

Thursday, June 23, 2016
1:10 AM

NO WHERE NEAR, YET SO CLOSE
NOT SO FAR, BUT OUT OF REACH
PRAYED SO HARD, TO NO AVAIL
GOD PLEASE HELP US TO PREVAIL!!
THIS WORLD IS SO HARD
ITS NO LUCK, ITS NOT IN THE CARDS
YOU CHOOSE YOUR OWN PATH
THE GOOD OR THE BAD
GRANTED, OUT OF CONTROL
SO MUCH IS, WITH NO WAY TO CHANGE
WHAT IS OURS, WE DON’T REALIZE OUR POWER
OUR VOICE, WE CAN SAY NO.
OUR HEART, WHO WE LOVE.
OUR MIND, WHAT WE THINK
OUR ACTIONS, HOW TREAT OTHERS
OUR PLANS, WHEN WE DO WHAT WE CAN
OUR QUESTIONS, WHY WE NEVER STOP ASKING
NEVER STOP BELIEVING, NEVER STOP DREAMING
DON’T LET THIS COLD WORLD. PUT YOU DOWN.
YOU HAVE TO STAY ON TOP.
YOU HAVE SOME A LITTLE POWER TO STOP.
DO WHAT YOU CAN, IF YOU SEE,A NEED HELP.
THEN HELP.
JUST TRY.

6/28/16

Sin tastes good on my lips
Man is this where I lose it
Sweet is sin on my lips
Words that hurt
Smoke that burns
Sugar that coats
****** words
Drinks that despise
Thoughts that criticize
Why does sin taste so good on my lips
When it hurts
When it burns
When it coats
When it turns
When its ugly
When its mean
IT makes NO SENSE
Can anyone explain
Why we try to condense
Instead of commence
To being kind
Just living to unwind
Helping others when you see a need
Instead of kicking them n watching them bleed
Why does sin taste so good
Why do I feel so misunderstood
I cant take this
Inside my head
Some one help cant you hear
I just want some bliss
I don’t want to feel so dead
Do you see my silent tears
When my day is done
I don’t want at the set of sun
I would rather be not riled
Or to feel so ragged n wild
This ache and burn
Makes my stomach sick, and turn
Will I always feel this way
Don’t worry tomorrow is a new day

I'VE CRIED A THOUSAND TEARS FROM YOU
I WON'T CRY NOT ANOTHER ONE
I'VE WORKED, I'VE TRIED,I CAN'T I'M DONE
IT DIDN'T HAVE TO GO THAT WAY
I GUESS YOU CHOSE IT, AND
THIS IS WHAT AND HOW YOU SAY
GOOD BYE, ENOUGH, CAN'T DO, CAN'T TRY
WE'RE DONE , WE'RE THROUGH, I KNOW I'LL GET BY
AND KNOW I WILL FLY.
YOU'RE FREE, JUST BE,
BE HAPPY,
YES O AND,
I HOPE YOU ARE TOO
ALL PART OF A BIGGER PLAN GUESS ITS DONE
OUT OF OUR HANDS.
THE TIME WAS SPENT, IT ALL WENT
ACCORDING TO HIS WILL
IT HURTS, ITS HARD, IT'S FINE, I'M FINE, IT'S GOOD I STILL WILL FEEL
MY HEART'S NOT DONE YET, WITH YOU, NO MORE, THESE BARS , AND STONES, AND CHAINS ARE GONE, GONE THEY ARE GONE
DON'T KNOW HOW TO LET IT GO FOR REAL

IF I SAID TODAY, I DIDNT KNOW
WOULD YOU STILL WANT ME, WOULD YOU SSTAY, OR GO
WOULD IT CHANGE IT ALL, OR WOULD IT REMAIN AND GROW
COULD WE BE WHAT WE ARE WHY NOT, I ASK YOU NOW
WHAT I FEEL IT IS SO STRONG SO DEEP SO SCARY THOUGH
I AM CONFUSED A LOT AND OFTEN TOO, I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW
THAT IS TRUE, I CANNOT PROMISE WHAT I DO NOT KNOW
I AM WHO I AM AND ALWAYS WANT TO GROW, NOT CHANGE TO FIT,BUT BECOME A BETTER ME.
AND MOST TIMES I'M GOOD ENOUGH, FOR ME WHEN I'M NOT IT REALLY SHOWS
YOU HAVE BEEN HURT ALOT, BY SOME, BUT WHY CAN'T UPI SEE. THEY ARENT ME.
I AM HOPE. I TRY HARD TO COPE WITH A LOT DAILY.
I CANNOT CHANGE SO MUCH SO FAST SO DRASTICALLY.
I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN,  YOU JUST MAY NOT WANT TO SEE
THAT I'M NOT ALL YOU CRACK ME UP TO BE , ALREADY.
                                                                   10/23/14

7216

You look at me and shake your head with disgust
Im bigger than you so there for I must
Have habits that are slovenly and unclean
Do you have any idea how much it hurts you are so mean
I try really hard to help family
My friends in need to keep myself and house happy
Its so hard in the world today to sit and be judged
It never stops no matter what I do I feel begrudged
All I want is to me and be accepted as I am
I just wanna put clothes on and a smile
You do know if you asked I would walk that extra mile
I feel like I am about ready to bust, just a ****
Built to hold back, don’t say that
Must be fitting to their idea, their mold
Just makes me want to shut down, ok got it just be cold
Hearted. To all. Really is that what works for you
I am kind, I am happy , I am polite, I am not like you
I am giving, helpful, considerate, caring
No you are not and do not, you are not bearing
The scars that hide, way down deep inside
You are not weary, scared, hiding like a child
I try so hard to just "fit in"
I just want to feel like once, "yes your in"
What tho the cost, make me unhappy
But look nice, appearance is skin deep
That is my take on it
I don’t care your tone of skin
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care what car you drive in
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care what side of town your on
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care how much money you make
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care what you have on your lawn
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care, if others say you are fake
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care what medicine you are prescribed
GOD made you YOU
I don’t care what they think, they say you lied
GOD made you YOU

I promised myself that
I’d never make anyone my world
And I didn’t

I made my own world
And spun in my axis
Days passed
Lives flashed
And flickered

I had convinced myself
That I didn’t need anyone to orbit me
That I had too much on my plate to keep me busy
The constellations needed arranging
The planets needed realigning
The stars needed shining

Yes no one was my world
And it was fine
So I spun
And I spun
And I spun
On my own

But I didn’t know
That my world was set
For the big bang course
And was bound to collide with yours

When it hit
My world shook
My world was set on fire
My world was never the same

Yet after all that
You didn’t become my world still
As I had always promised

My world was mine
And your world was yours
Though admittedly there was no part of mine
That was left untouched by yours

Your gravity worked
So strongly on me
Pulling me in so effortlessly
Though I didn’t mind really
Sticking around for an eternity
Because truthfully
To be apart from you
Is something I never want to be

So there we were
In a cosmic dance we vowed to do forever
And it was amazing
As we spun
And we spun
And we spun
Together

Yes my world was mine
And your world was yours
Yet in the process
You somehow managed
To become my whole universe

this poem
is not about you

even though
your spirit is in every word
your voice sounds strong
in the halls of my mind
telling me things
I am now sure
I want to know

this poem is
about me

trying to understand
you