My heart breaks for you. Tears overwhelm me every time I think of you.
I remember your flowing dark brown hair that reached down your entire back.
My God, it was beautiful.
We’d jump out of the bathroom window onto the trampoline to see who’d go the highest.
It was incredible. We were so innocent... for a time.
But things change, usually for worse.
I recall walking in on our brother on top of you and our sister.
Both of your eyes were swelling begging me to do something.
Sadly, I had no social cues to understand what was going on...
**** my autistic brain.
I should have stopped it.
I should have told mom and dad.
Instead I failed you.
I feel like it’s my fault you choose a life of debauchery.
Rock bottom can’t be real because your keep finding ways to dig yourself deeper.
First the drinking, then the drugs, now choosing to become my “brother”.
When I first heard it set a clock in my mind. A countdown ‘til I hear of your inevitable death.
You say it’s a choice, but in reality you’re willingly stepping into death row with yourself as the executioner.
There is a way out though.
And I beg you to take it.
Please, shave your sunken face and come to the true savior.
You’ll no longer need to fill a hole in your soul because He will restore it in its entirety.
I just hope it’s not too late.

I've been looking for you in each stranger,
Each blue eye with sand hair makes me turn,
Each musical note I play is a reminder of your name,
I often forget to distinguish my voice from yours though this mics
I said I'll be strong but mama I miss you.

I guess blood is thicker than time than death since,
Each eye on this arena feels like yours
Every time I give life to this fiction characters
I hear your laugh,feel you cringe,
Each attempt to hide from this paps,
Feels like a carbon copy of yours,only with a failed attempt
I said i'll be strong but mama I miss you.

It's been a decade,I want to lie i'm stronger/mature i'm not
I still ball over and cry sometimes,especially days like this,
I still let them in even though you warned me about naivety,
I still shy away from the life you and dad gave us,
I know I said i'll be strong but mama I miss you.

I have loads of questions,so I ask the siblings you gave me,
Hoping they asked the same questions to you,
Hoping they pour your knowledge to me,
I watch  you,how you were,so beautiful so young,
I know I said i'll be strong but mama I miss you.

I've tried been good,
Though this creepy's make the search engine say am not,
I want to talk about your old man and your boys,
Right now though I'll be a little selfish because,
I know I said i'll be strong but mama I miss you.