I feel like I keep waking up in a nightmare of my mind.
I'm so trapped.
I can't escape the fact that I have to
wake up again.
               And again.
                     And again.
When will I learn that I'm the nightmare.
I'm never going to wake up from this one cause I created it.
The only way to wake up is to destroy it,
Destroy myself.
I need to wake up.

Never showing the world how much pain and sorrow. You feel every day when you wake up, knowing there’s nothing left to hold on too. Feeling trapped because no one cares to see how much damage they caused by always plotting against you.  

Leaving nothing for you to even try to build happiness.  Just waiting patiently for death to take you.  Trying to remember when there was ever a time in your life.  You felt loved and wanted but no such memory exist.   Wondering why were you created and placed on this earth.  Always trying to be loved. Over and Over again.  Never understanding why no one ever loved or cared about you.  

Watching tears slowly fall down your face again and again because you could never figure out what you did wrong to people for them not to show at lease kindness towards you.  Always praying for an end to life itself.  Wanting just to be treated with love and care.   Dreaming of a life filled with love and happiness.  

While hiding behind all the painful scares of the past.  Trying not to become a ghost no one sees.  Searching for hope that the damaged parts of you will one day get pieced together like a jigsaw puzzle.  Knowing only time will tell.  While fate still has cards left to play for your life.  Wanting so badly to say goodbye to everything and find a place to hide.

Childhood years full of green grass
A little girl free of care, full of spirit
The mirror was forigen to her gaze

Middle school girl feels abit queer
She found her body to be changing
She feels the mirror’s light stare

High school girl is made of glass
Body stuck in a delusional freeze frame
Everyday she tries to hide what the mirror dreadfully enhances in her eyes

Bathroom visit to throw up her enemy
Gym routines that can't ever be missed
Troubled truly by her magnified flaws

Last summer at home spent in bed
Hospitalized from the demon she let in
Her heart grows so weak, she'd be dead by next week

She breaks all the mirrors that messed with her head
She eats her first meal praying it will stay
She enters her college revivied and refocus on books not just body looks.

Girls you are all beautiful no matter your size.

Chains pull me down,
Smoke fills my lungs,
No way to escape.
No way out.

Forced on repeat,
Like a never ending clock.
Bruises come,
Then they go.
Only for more to appear.

Fear strikes my heart,
Worry slices my body,
Regret tears at my eyes,
While loneliness haunts me.

It stares me in the eyes,
Laughing at my pain.
Nothing can stop it,
Only death will end it.

It's sad one word can cause so much trouble,
just three letters.

You say it; it's a cuss word.
You think about it; shame on you.
You do it by force; you go to jail.
You watch it; you're a pervert.
You do it to yourself; oh my gosh, ew!!

One word that floats around in everyones mind.
Three letters combined can cause a disaster.

Do it wrong; you're a mommy or a daddy.
Do it right; it never ends.

It can be beautiful.
Or it can be a tragedy.

What is life?
Something you can't control,
you need order,
but it cannot be contained.

An emotional roller coaster,
you don't want to feel,
just ride.

Social Media,
people come in and out,
and you can't stop them.

Or maybe it's breathing,
taking breaths to continue,
through something you want to end.

Something valuable,
you only get it once.

But can it also be a tragedy?
Something you are forced to be in,
something you cannot escape.

What is life?