Well, let me begin my announcing to the HP community that I just pulled my ex-best friend's child's mother's hair out of my mouth without realizing how it got there since I haven't seen her since Saturday. Yeah, good luck pondering that breech of physics. Also, I realized that I've been breaking the magic rules of drinking at work as laid down by Cracked.com with impunity since before that majestic article was written, which kind of makes me feel like a badass and also like a terrible alcoholic whom the gods will eventually strike down. Or perhaps, everybody at work with me is also drunk and/or high all the time, a suspicion I've had for about a year now, but have not been able to prove, despite careful observation. Sure, the typically WOW playing awkward dude gets a box of not one, not two, but three bottles of beautifully crafted wine delivered DIRECTLY TO THE OFFICE every month notwithstanding. And does our supervisor say anything even remarkably reprehensible....no, not while she's on the clock. But she did steal my Don Corleone hat, and by thunder she still owes me for that thing, since I'll bet all the money I made this year that she got some fantastic head because of that hat. There are minor arguments in the breakroom over how ****** the coffee actually is, whether it's police station or AA meeting detestable, and on slow days people are chucking gigantic medicine ***** across the room while laughing at the destruction they cause. Then, Monday through Friday, woe unto you if you call the 24/7 line between 10 and 12 at night, since you will be picked up by me, the 3-midnight guy. If you're an idiot, or loud, or from New Jersey, or can't seem to be able to wipe that bleached ******* of yours without assistance, DO NOT CALL. I will be drunk, and while drunk I will take whatever ****** excuse you have for being a worthless and pointless human being and very tenderly, very politely, shove it up your *** on the end of a very thick nine iron. This is real life, and this....this is where I work.

Most oft friends don't know I've been around,
Still they unfollow cause they think I'm just loud.
"Please turn your life down"
"Live life and let your life flow"
But if I do that I'll miss out on what life made me to be.

It's hard to lie when you have the proof,
To tell the truth I've been living life like a fool.

If there's one thing i would tell you right now, it'd be that i love you.

I love you i love you i love you.

I've loved you since the day i met you, and I'll love you till the day i die.

Hey Haley, I'm Willem.

From the moment those words escaped from between those lips, I wanted more.

I remember barely glancing up as i said hello.

Because you were the most beautiful person i had ever seen.

But i had already learned that i wasn't going to let myself feel things anymore, let alone let somebody in.

But when i got home, my mind was filled with you.
With your voice,
Your lips,
Those words.

And i knew i needed more more more.

And then we started talking on a daily basis.

And i still wanted more.

You taught me that feeling things is what makes us be alive, and i can honestly say that i was not living until the day i met you.

And before i knew it, 2 years have gone by.

And here we are.

My mind is still filled with you.
Your voice,
Your touch,
Your thrusts.

Your smile,
And your laugh.

And if there's one thing i would tell you right now, it'd be that i love you.

And you've given me so much more than i could've ever asked for.

But I'll always need more.

More of your voice,
More of your touch,
More of your smiles
And your laughs.
More of your thrusts,

And most importantly,
More of you.

If love never dies,
then what you had for me
was never love.

She told him once about the flavor of humans.
That he tasted like old leather and empty bottles of whiskey
He told her about ****** knuckles
And how many times she had been on his mind when he got them
She smiled with her teeth showing
Then she walked away from him again
It’s funny all the things that he thought he knew
Like how much sweeter his best friend tasted against her lips
It’s a shame that she never told him
That sugar sometimes makes her sick