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Beloved God

Stars from your eyes

fall into
mine

illumined


I find my way back
to You
My tiny world



I pull the cocoon all around me



But the light still



manages to get in



Oh I see....



I am made of stars too
The night is benign

As long as Hari is with me

A Thousand eyes fill the firmament

With iridescent gaze

Silvers splashes

across my pillow
Beloved
You held me
underwater
indefinitely
blue skies and dazzling outer space
flooded
my lungs, body, mind,
and spirit

this was no mere death
nor ordinary passing
but the birth of
something far greater
too vast to adequately describe

There is a new constellation
in the luminous heavens
it spans the entire prism
two starry lovers
enshrined
wedded in an eternal
inseparable embrace
Swami

I will never be the same

How could I?

The moment my head

Touched Your heavenly

Feet

Brightness overtook me

Love in its purest form

Breath of radiance

Blew acrross

abysmal and obscure

Horizons

The sun rose with

A fierce  Glory

Turning everything

To Light

Softly, shyly with great hope

A lotus dared to bloom
Sister
Why wander the dusty, broken cobbled roads
searching for our Beloved?

He has given His solemn promise
that He is with us always

In the blue of the heavens
spanning out endlessly
wearing a robe of stars
He embraces us

In the depths of our suffering
when pain clouds our mind
and serpents hiss incessantly
He cradles us in His arms
till the fever breaks and
our penance is done

He is our very breath
place your hands
over my heart, Sister
feel the heart throb
of our Beloved
The marigold Monarch butterfly
oblivious to the moans, suffering
and pain of our worldly realm
sips nectar from divine floral cups
oozing with celestial sweetness
alights blissfully upon
the holy hand of God
if you slit your wrists
only nectar flows
You are not this body
You are Spirit eternal
Your body is a sacred temple
fashioned by
God for you to learn how
to love more expansively
So suicide is not an option
Swami says this:
“DEVOTEE: Swami, when I am distressed, I feel like committing suicide.
SWAMI: You should not. However difficult life is,
try to be its master and not its slave.
Every human being has a preordained life span.
It is like staying in a leased house.
Before you actually vacate the house,
you have to find another one to move in.
Similarly, before leaving one body,
God selects another body and a span,
depending upon the karmic debts.
In case death is inflicted arbitrarily,
you are denying yourself a chance to work out
your karma as early as possible
and reach a permanent abode.
In suicide, you are stranded midway.
It would be a frightening state of affairs for you.
There is no vacant space in nature.
God has filled the space with spirits
and many other invisible entities.
When suicide is committed, they show up and terrorize you.
Moreover, a jivi is blissfully aware of God only
for one hour in its life. First, fifteen minutes
while shedding the mortal coil, i.e., at death;
second, fifteen minutes after coming
out of the womb, i.e., at birth;
and third, thirty minutes during the marriage.
God is present with the jivi on all these three occasions.
Hence, do not destroy the life that God has given you.
Lead the life you have got righteously.
The person who faces the trials in life calmly
and always remembers God will one day,
definitely, get His grace. Do not doubt its veracity.
Face these tests with faith in Him.

(Swami asked other people to get their doubts clarified.
Nobody asked anything.)” **~Sai Rapture, p.82
Day lilies and dragonflies
in Arkansas June
boy do I need a sombrero!
not a cloud in the sky
and I pray for a genteel breeze
to cool my brow
The crepe myrtle has
crept its way into
my heart
From dawn to dusk
She stands unscathed
shocking pink candelabrum
boisterous laughter of
school children on vacation and
belly flops in chlorine blue green pools
brings to mind a delightful dip
in a secluded, sylvan
mountain stream
where I can with palms folded
Love brimming
salute the Summer Solstice
This is the third time
I've planted climbing roses

The first two failed to fulfill
my romantic fantasy of
efflorescent roses
flaunting their naughty
frilly pink bodice
and hooped skirts
draped in loops
like gingerbread scroll-work
or fleur-de-lis
gamboling, sauntering
across the white French trellis

I guess I'm really a fairy trapped
inside this 5' 8" terrestrial body
I love how the amethyst moon-flowers
with the pentagram tattooed on their
belly button petals
cast a magic spell over the garden

And the night blooming jasmine's
enchanting fragrance wakens the
dreaming gardenia and makes everybody
including our blue eyed ragdoll kitten
a wee bit tipsy

I curl up on my midnight Jhoola
topiary shadows crouch
like royal sphinxes
in the starlit courtyard
and reflecting pools of water
from summer rains
swirl open their third eyes
~portals to another world~
Summer rains
wash away
the past
swirling eddies
wrinkles on the
face of time
engulf the flooded streets
flush down drains
into helpless, toothless oblivion

Yesterday so festive
bright and gay
transformed into the blackened wick
of an extinguished
birthday candle
I stare into the mirror
at my fluctuating image
undaunted

Swami
I will lose my jazzy eyes
soft, supple skin and rockabilly curly hair
my body identity that I am so comfortable with,
all that I think I am - has to Go!
And with it the paraphernalia that defines
me as Sonya Ki

This is truth
absolute fact
Lord of Time, the Cosmos
everything that was, is and will be
promise me one boon
Heaven, hell and earth
may pass away
Shiva may breathe
us up in one cosmic snort
when the dust and ash settles
and fresh winds blow
across another dream wave
forming

All is not lost

This is my wish upon Your star
I must never forget
by no means
without exception
ever lose awareness
of You
Beautiful God
Evening wind chimes, misty laughter
tug wistfully at bamboo flute strings of my heart

Garden oasis, gorgeous geisha maiden
Robed in red kimona
opens Her moon blushed fan
Delicate tea blossoms
and nightingale's song

Wise Buddha fountain
carrying a lantern of hope
gushes soft slippered through
smokey black topaz shadows

Resting on the garden jhoola
cocooned in white netting
I close my eyes
search the ink brushed
horizon

Returning home
Summer Swallows in flight
follow a starry trajectory
Kohl black tears
mingle with garden watercolors

We will meet again
Ancient Love

When plum blossoms awaken
on jade green boughs
and crown us completely in
lovely lavender umbrellas
We walked in beauty at daybreak
a cool breeze blew through our arms
like long feathered eagle spirit wings

Sky pressed its cobalt palms
together in prayer and
bowed to the four directions

Stopping to commune with
the new baby across the street
round, gurgling Buddha face radiant
as the sun glittering above us

His mother expressed concern
over a recent viral infection he'd
just gotten over, her greenish gray
eyes beaming with maternal devotion
in the morningstar light

We continued our beauteous trek
I paused just off of Island street
to take a pine blossom bath
Thanking the noble, handsome pine
I immersed myself in the aura cleansing
prickly, tickling pine needles

A dark blue car ambled slowly pass me
wondering, "What the heck?!"

Laughing, I wandered on...
singing to the sun dancing higher in the heavens
showering the earth and all my
brothers and sisters
in Golden Beauty
For at least 6 years
David and I toiled over
the illustrious, majestic
"Bird of Paradise"
Fertilizing, nurturing, nursing
yet despite all this
we only saw dark green plumes
fronds fanning out
like a proud peacock
Then early this morning
at sunrise I heard David exclaim,
"Hurry bring the camera!"
there in all its exquisite glory
its wings in full sunrise explosions
of orange gold and purple

was our own very first "Bird of Paradise"
We walk East towards the ocean
Abalone pearls spill from the heavens
Krishna's conch can be heard
welcoming the new day
Golden Lakshmi lashes flutter open
And the sky erupts into dazzling smiles
A thunderbolt fell
onto my lap while lounging in
the garden

I scan the skies for a glimpse
of Your saffron robes

The heavens are purple and red
with sunset's blaze

I glimpse Your blue lotus Feet
fire-walking towards
me
Sun pours a bucket of gold
over the striking pink
fluorescent fuschia
bougainvillea
welcoming
weary travelers along
the dusty road


a song stirs in my heart


I turn towards His
blazing face
renewed, restored
illumined
I stepped outside my door this morning
a flock of snowy egrets soaring above
greeted my eyes, also in the distance
two stygian vultures added to the yin/yang
of the moment


Facing eastward, Surya, the Sun God
stretched out His long burnished arms
yawning away starry remnants of night

My neck has been giving me trouble lately
I asked Surya to give me a solar massage
standing barefoot in the jeweled dew and
damp grass

Surya's life giving warm rays penetrated
the gloomy, dreary alleyways
of my mind and body

Smiling up at our beautiful,
radiant Sun God
I blew fairy kisses toward the sky

bright faced cape may daisies
and disneyland roses
scattered petals
at His most auspicious, splendid
lustrous lotus Feet
My heart is a celestial bedroom
where my Lord hastens unto me
I have placed a garland of stars
around his neck
and pierced His ears with the honey moon
His skin is anointed with the
fragrance of Love
and His feet are the only pillows
my head cares for
when He smiles my life finds
inner meaning and dances about
like a giddy lovestruck maiden
drunk on His holy name
I Love You

I Love You

I Love You

I don't say this

nearly enough

This is my mantra

my colorful prayer-wheel
orbiting

encircling

the planet called
 earth

I Love You

I Love You

I Love You
I swoon
a thousand times
or once
its always the same
Beloved
whenever my tear filled eyes
meet Yours

I swoon
far behind
I leave the world
familiar labyrinth of houses,
walmart,  smart tv's and people scurrying
promiscuously in all directions
burnt scroll of another chapter
cast into the blazing fires
of my heart
I would like to share a very beautiful experience that happened recently.
Yesterday, I went food shopping, as I left the supermarket, a strong wind washed over me like the sweet breath of God. It felt refreshing and rejuvenating after the frantic energy of the supermarket.

Then, quite distinctly on the soft wings of the wind I heard my name whispered "Sonya". I looked up at the pearlescent, grayish blue skies, wondering who was calling me so mysteriously.

I didn't think anything more about this, later asking my hubby if he was thinking of me around 5pm. He said he was thinking of calling me, so I thought maybe I picked up on his thoughts.

Last night, after anointing myself with essential oil camphor, I fell asleep chanting the Swapneshwari mantra. Around dawn I had the following mystical dream:

Please visit Sai Rapture if would like to know more

http://www.sairapture.com/talking-wind-dream.html
Tao
Tao
in the mirror
I see your face
superimposed
pieces of starlight
that dazzle a quiet
dark lake
You puzzle
my quivering heart
fragments of me
fit perfectly
joyfully, ecstatically
into
you.....

How we light up the night sky!
I won't remember you...
the husky sound of your voice
tall, lanky stature
Lithuanian shape of your
Baltic blue eyes sledding
across my heart

even this embrace
standing on Melbourne beach
the wind swoons
two silhouettes melting into
each other

All the lines on my hands
are erased
the ocean pours tears into
a half moon shell
my body, a blind mermaid
washed ashore
upon the smooth, faceless sand
Mother Mary's tears
cascade

As Easter approaches all the great Saints
shed profuse tears
for the Lamb of God
Emmanuel

In a world where
the flower of love is crushed under
heavy black boots
stomping with long jagged swords
through the night
And tender kisses met with
snake hisses and sharp venomous fangs

My trembling hands will forever
anoint your raw and bleeding wounds
wash your holy feet with my tears

Light a candle on Easter morning
for the world you so sought to save
I love my darling little
ragdoll kitty Rama
a beautiful flame point color
He reminds me of sunrise
orange auburn rays
pouncing across
pearl white early morning skies

Following me into the bedroom
he sprawls across the desk and
under my computer
tenderly I scratch his furry head
we rub cold eskimo noses and I can’t help
noticing how his breath is so very much
like mine

Sweet air rushing in
like the tide and gently ebbing
listening closely to his breath
makes me wonder
how on earth
can we slaughter
and eat anything that
has breath like us

Tears fall from Rama’s eyes
tears for our brother animals
tears for Rama
Far from the
restless boom box blare
jazz blue ****
city lights and guitars on fire

miles from the urban smell
of opulent people, pierced armpits
bulldog buildings pressed
together in a dead-heat

many asphalt moons from
quaint village cafes
Yankee Stadium, Central Park,
Queens Boulevard
and downtown mystical bookshops

I found a clear, pure halcyon stream
hewn from stars,
trickling down from Heaven
an affluent vision of strength
gushing over the softer
translucent parts of me

gentle Yogi yodeling through
my alpine heart
lets sail upstream to the roof of your
prayer washed Zen mountain
offer lotus garlands and incense
at sunrise we kneel in the
Temple Alucinante

(Please share the warm embrace of my new Poetry book:
108 Bhakti Kisses, The Ecstatic Poetry of a Modern Day Gopi
http://amzn.com/0984787216)
The Monk's feet
make almost no sound
in the early morning mist
I listen for music of ankle bells
Buddha, Krishna, Jesus
and all those who traverse
the sacred path of God

Together we walk....
One Golden Buddha
blessing trees, horses
and the hawk screeching
over tall Florida pines

Breathing in sun and moon
the Universe rushes though
our veins
and smiles so gloriously
on compassionate faces
rising beyond pain, desires,
struggles,
suffering, sorrows
of the temporal world
Today, I told a butterfly he was God
my eyes followed the magnificent cape
of his orange monarch wings
from September flower to flower

The inquisitive coral throated lizard
leaping over the garden jhoola
listened, awestruck as I announced
with deep conviction
"You're, God too, my friend"

It was time to tell Joy, screeching
at the top of her parrot lungs and
Sam my bright-eyed cairn terrier
the exciting news

I could feel the teal blue heavens,
all the creatures of our earth and
beyond breathing in
absolute pin drop silence
as I filled a glass with water
opened my mouth
and slowly poured
God into God
There is a sacred path
that winds through
my heart

It sings God's Name
as I dance ecstatically
along enchanted gopi banks
and over
whirling, warbling brooks

I marvel as a black and
white checkered,
red tufted woodpecker
carves God's Name on
a thankful tree trunk

Mirabai, Kabir and Rumi
wave their colorful prayer flags
verses of pure love
and devotion cling to the
very air we breathe

The Bhakti path forges
unafraid through
the bleak, brooding
forest of desires

Husky winds blow around
ghostly, skeleton branches
that claw helplessly
at the night skies
whispering valiant stories of
Rama's exile and
Krishna's triumph

Another tree it's hoary arms
outstretched
resembling a cross
bleeds, remembering the sacrifices
and love of Jesus, The Lamb of God

Trekking further into the dense
unforgiving jungle
seated in Lotus pose
a Golden Buddha
immersed in
rapturous meditation
opens His eyes for an instant

The sun rises in the east
I kneel and kiss His
glorious feet

Leaving the tangled woods
behind
suffering, godforsaken
figures of homeless people
sleeping alongside
this good samaritan road
emerge

Embodiments of God
spirits marred by defeat
and agony
stare listlessly, flies circling
oblivious to the
blistering desert heat

I stop to share a prayer,
cup of water, some fresh
baked bread from my knapsack
and a ray of hope

The path abruptly ascends
purple mountain mists
crown the summit
holy footprints of saints,
yogis, fellow pilgrims
indelibly christen
and guide my steps

Angels sweep the road
ahead tossing rose petals
and victory blossoms

Om peals
across the enlightened
Bhakti path

...and an ancient God awakens....
Those days, Those days
in Prashanti, not a care in the world
waiting for the Lord of the Universe

Rainbow sequined saris flutter like
colorful prayer flags
in the sultry, warm breezes

Women devotees, buzzing honeybees,
breathlessly squeeze into granite window openings
outside the mandir
straining to see, hoping their adoring eyes
will be blessed by the nectarine vision of Sai Avatar

Seva Dal angels in vivid orange and yellow scarves
manage to bridle the swooning, burgeoning, euphoric
crowds with spirited "Sairam, Sairams"

O Baba
what we wouldn't give for a chance to once more
see your airborne Lotus feet floating towards us
on the golden sands of Puttaparthi

Reverently, I press my fingertips to my eyelids
taking padnamaskar
these orbs, these orbs
once gazed upon the holy sight of
Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba
Sai Krishna
what magic have you wrought
the sideshows and acrobatics
of the world no longer entice
robotically I go through the motions
of daily living
my mind totally absorbed in You

Captivating Lord
You have performed a sleight of heart
and I am hopelessly smitten
fatally attracted I stalk Your
charming footsteps
planning my sweet ambush

Alluring  Giridhari
the mid-night air is
dulcet
and heady aroma of
jasmine enchants the Soul
on the soft earth
I have drawn a sacred white circle
a magical mandala
under a pyramid of stars
I wait
Om Sai Ram

This afternoon I had a wonderful astral experience. I have been regularly chanting God's name as part of my spiritual practice. Lately, I have intensified the practice and seen excellent results. My life has been remarkably peaceful, problems are easily resolved and I am enjoying a definite nearness and spiritual closeness to God.

On numerous occasions while sitting at the computer or in the prayer room, clouds of incredibly sweet aromatic fragrance have enveloped me, causing me to run to the garden to see if the jasmine was in bloom. The scent turned out to be ethereal.

I have also been experiencing clairaudient sounds. At certain sensitive times I can distinctly hear sublime music and singing.

Then, this afternoon David and I decided to do a spiritual exercise and meditation. After the meditation I  took a nap in the puja (prayer) room. My meditation seat can open up into a neat little bed. Shortly, I drifted off in the blessed and tranquil vibrations that saturate this room.

As I approached the borderline state I could hear David in the other room talking on the phone.  Then the door opened and David came into the prayer room. As he looked in on me, I thought, well this is peculiar I can still hear him talking on the phone in the other room. David gazed at me and said, "I have to cover the little plants in here because it is raining." There were little tiny plants lining the tables. I watched as he tenderly and carefully covered the plants. Again, curiously I could still hear David talking in the other room.

To read more please paste the link:

http://www.sairapture.com/the-mysterious-double-astral-body.html
Beloved
i have kept a strict vigil
from my lonely citadel
my eyes have fasted solely
on your celestial form
and my lips know
only
Your hallowed name
Hari
the stars and moon
appear so distant yet
they light up even my
secluded, solitary silhouette
unfettered love
glance my way
tonight
winter has come early
solitude blankets
the frontier and hinterlands
of my soul
all the birds have flown south
taking warm breezes
with them
not to be outdone
solace of human
companionship has also fled
like long, lanky shadows
leaping across a high mountain
only the dark red eyes
of the cave
lit up by
an innermost
flame
stares
transfixed
motionless
expanding into
the empty night
this King Cobra...electric eel
draped across my shoulders
and the mercury rising
there is a tunnel
I know
where we can go and
make mad love to God
lay across the starry tracks
with me
short circuit...
pull the plug on this dream
the baby pin oak in my backyard
is strong enough to support
the wild bird feeder
blue jay watches avidly till the coast is clear
relaxing in the garden jhoola
I sip my morning tea
a lime pastel butterfly flutters close to
my cup and a tawny brown lizard
his balloon red throat puffing love-calls
scampers over my feet
sky drenches the moment in blue
and chest thumping sounds of a
Saturday baseball game
herringbones through the fantastic
fabric and handiwork
of the here and now
Nectar on my lips
a sweet kiss for you


Thich Nhat Hanh says
3 breath hugs
are bliss for
body, mind and spirit
tiny little kisses fall from heaven
I stick my arm outside
the black and pink floral umbrella
tiny little raindrop kisses
drizzle sweetly
Holding the umbrella aside
I let tiny little raindrop kisses
nuzzle my face
Love from above starts to pour
Trillions of little kisses blanket
every blade of grass,
neighborhood cars, roads,
and the rich black earth
My heart a lotus flower
sings and dances
cups running over
The old dream fades
dew in the morning mist
my body and mind
fleeting stardust
dances with the
elements again

A lonesome echo
lingers for moment
In the spacious unfettered
canyons of my soul

Calling
I love you
I love you

And the radiant Being
within awakens
Tiptoeing out the door
onto our dew soaked lawn
tiny diamonds waves
lapping at my bare feet

.... I give thanks....

"The Earth is our mother
we must take care of Her.
The Earth is our mother
we must take care of Her."

This iconic Native American ballad
hums over and over in my head

My gaze takes in the wintergreen garden splashed in sunlight, turquoise skies, and even the stinky garbage truck, snorting and groaning by the roadside

"Thank You Divine Mother Earth"
I whisper prayerfully

Sun moves towards its zenith
at the opposite end of the garden
lacey black shadows veil
sacred mother's beauty

A pair of perky cardinals
swoosh past me surprisingly close
Their wings covered with
bright red kisses

"Thank you too!" I declare
with arms outstretched

Looking up into Her
marvelous vastness
my face a glowing morning star
I wait expectantly, for my
bright red sunrise kiss
Yes! Call me a crazy fanatic,
a God intoxicated fool!
stark raving madly
in love with beautiful You

Obsessed,
I stalk Your every invisible move
Breathless, I run through
fog and mist that clouds
Your celestial, elusive Presence
chanting Your holy name
contemplating the glorious leelas
and remembering the power and
splendor that created all this

And Yes! I would
move heaven and hell
for a chance to
consciously, perfectly, wholly and
completely
Be with You
heart and soul forever
There he is!
Twinkle toes
Shining in the garden
dancing over the Surinam cherries
and Starfruit,
Clipping fragrant gardenia blossoms
And voluptuous red roses

My Bright Star of David
I love you!
I love to watch egrets fly
white wings glide past me
in concert
as I pause my morning stroll
my spirit not the least bit shy
joins the beautiful congregation
soaring through the twinkling blue
There was a kind breeze
in the sweltering inferno
of an August Summer day
in Palm Bay, Florida

Penelope the climbing orphan
rose gazed up at me gratefully
as I trimmed away the last of
the blue sky vine
Now she could ascend in
all her purple glory

The breeze followed me to the jhoola.
As i sat swinging on the soft comfortable
cushions, I was thrilled to observe that
our white French trellis was finally adorning
herself with romantic red roses

Like a little love chateau in gay Paris
climbing Don Juans serenaded her vinyl bodice
in bold, flamboyant, valentine red

Out the corner of my eye I spotted the
handsome but shy red cardinal swaying between the
branches of our hibiscus bush located close to the
lantern shaped red bird feeder

Dewy sweetness of the moment filled my heart
leaning back in the swing, I thought to myself:

"This is certainly turning out to be a bright Red-Letter Day!"
Mighty Varuna
God of the Sea
and sub-marine spheres
You visited me
mounted on Your strange dolphin
ancient makara dragon


Sacred, secret eyelids
of evening
flash open
cresting across the cobalt
horizon

Our ship gently rocked
softly cradled
wind and wave
whisper Om

From fathomless depths
You gush forth
bedewed
in ocean jewels
and seaweed

Varuna
with colossal form
hewn of surf and stars
I beheld
Your awesome darshan
and tasted the salt spray
of Your breath

My heart is forever
a garland of
pearls afloat
at Your
white-capped
Celestial Feet


*Paste the link below:
www.sairapture.com/sea-god-dream-03012015.html
I think we are afraid of the vastness
we fear the vastness
the wild untamed beauty of our true nature

The other day at twilight,
I was traveling with my niece, Carina
down St. John's Heritage Highway
the view was absolutely breathtaking
no houses, no development, no people
just vast stretches of old Florida

As we paused to look at the primeval vista
my niece said she found it unnerving - the vastness

I told her I loved it because it reminded me of meditation
losing awareness of our limited, ordinary self
we enter an inexplicable vastness, primordial void
people-less, formless, infinite

We feel eternal truth rushing through our veins
We are part of a larger picture
greater than anything we can imagine

In the starry arms of the blossoming Universe
we rest safe, secure and loved forever
I wake up with You,
Vast One

Your Name on my lips


And the Day's
Dazzling Embrace


wi6.com/hotlink/qzf6dfekgq/Hey_Krishna.mp3

(One of Lord Krishna's names is Mukunda, meaning one who grants liberation.
Murari is one of the names of Lord Vishnu. Since Krishna is one of the incarnations of Vishnu, he is also known as Murari.}
Winter sun
hides warmth
of Spring in
His frozen white breast
Earth cold and naked
numbs the senses
shivers in remote, obscure
caverns,
ascetic caves of penance, tapas and contemplation
where are Her emerald robes
adorning the hills, glens and woodlands
alluring fragrance of Her
rose scented skin is absent and
Her dewy jeweled eyes sorely missed
breathe deeply, empty your mind
I can hear Her soft lotus feet
dancing closer……..
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