everyone is temporary
no one stays
they all leave eventually
i don’t understand the point of promises if they’re all broken
is love real if some loves fade?
sometimes before things get better
my darkness gets bigger
and the person that i’d take a bullet for is behind the trigger
and now there’s two guns
one in my own hands
both aimed at my own head
the person who saved me now wants me dead
i cant believe you prevented my end
just to bring me closer to it again
i want to bring up walls
unbreakable
everyone ends up the same way
its never a new day
i’m sick of the games that everyone plays
make it stop
make it stop
make it stop

i don’t fit in anywhere
i’m not allowed love
i’m not allowed a single person
not one
everyone leaves eventually
but anyways

i think our souls hugged
i felt your warmth
golden light, hidden deep
underneath all of the red burning fire
the heavy black tar coating
thick and sticky, drowning you in despair
underneath all of the green gaseous clouds
needy, jealous,
underneath all of the purple spikes
****** and desirable
underneath your skin, there’s a whole world of you
and it was mine
my own world
ever so briefly.
our souls touched, and every part of you was known to me, and only then, when i was pushed out, did i realize how much i want you to be mine.
but “my world” was never really mine at all, but hers.

the way i felt about you.
i didn’t even realize
how deep the ocean was
  how wide the universe stretched
   how heavily the weights were that i carried
    until the weights were lifted
   until the stars in my universe stopped shining
  until the ocean dried up
when you told me it had to end.
i didn’t realize how warm i felt
  until everything went cold
i didn’t realize
how much i needed you
  until you were no longer there
why did you have to go?
  like the bitterness of snow
    i’m freezing, slow and cold and numb
  without you
          your touch which i never felt
but the words that i fell for
heavy
like a rainstorm.

i cant
remember who
i am
i don’t
know what
i have
become, someone
help me
anyone, help
me, i
don’t quite
know but
i think
i might
not be
okay

close the curtains, and help me get out of character
help me take off this costume
and remind me who i am
remind me who i am
who..
i am...
who am i ?
i am only what i have become and never the person i once was.
i don’t know how long i can be who i have become, or how many pages are left in my story, or if i’m closing in on my final chapter, but i hope you enjoyed my story regardless.