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The mind and heart switch roles
          For reasons to stay untold

                               Silently screaming chest
                    Racing and quivering head

      Thoughts whip light speed modest
Body barely leaves its bed

          Unhappy for nothing
               Motivated for nothing

                    Paralyzing deadlocks,
                  Anxiety's Paradoxes
Form is supposed to be a twister or whirlwind. Hoping that's apparent before you read this lol.
I love you so much to the point
I went against my morals for you

I'm sorry to say this but it wasn't
worth it
I wasn't missing out on anything
I shouldn't have let anybody
get in between my
morals and I

Not only that it showed how much I love you
But it showed a lot about myself



I wish I can go back
 May 2018 david snyder
japheth
there are monsters everywhere.

no,

i’m not talking about
those under your bed,
those waiting for you in the dark,
those hanging on the branches of the trees,
those staring at you when you sleep,

no.

not those monsters.

i’m talking about
those who destroy your good mood,
those who bring you down in every mistake you make,
those who always look for a flaw in whatever you do,
those who make you feel sorry for ever being here.

those monsters.

but just like the monsters you imagine

— they are all in your head.

you can ignore them
and see that those monsters,
are ever so small;
so easy to trample,
so easy to destroy.
so live on, my friend.
 May 2018 david snyder
Kim
We're almost touching.
we were walking side by side,
you're talking about cabs in your hometown.
I can feel the gravity of your hand, calling my fingers
whispering "it's alright."

We're touching but not quite.
you held my shoulder to protect me from the passing cars.
and for the first time in a long while, I felt so fragile.
In this world where I find it hard even to breathe,
you believed me.

I almost said it.
All I need is one ounce of strength to tell you every single thing that I have ever felt about you.

I want to find home in your collarbones.
Would you be kind enough to let a stranger in?
I want to seep in your being because I'm cold.
The world is harsh and my cracks are aching.

Almost.
Please don't ever become a stranger,
whose laugh I can recognize anywhere.
They destroyed me
I never knew why
But why me ?
Its been going on for so long
So I just got use to it
I welcomed myself home
To this destruction

They continued to tear me down
They beat the mindset of deserving it into me
So I thought there was something wrong with me

If they hurt me
]Why shouldn't I hurt myself
If nobody loves me
I shouldn't love myself

The darkness was my home
Throwing up was my sister
Negativity was my brother
Depression were my parents
The blade was my best friend
They were always there for me
People knew they were there for me
because it left its bandages on my body

People usually ask me
"why or did it hurt or what even brought you to that point?"

I just shrug my shoulders and said " I'm numb to pain, I'm numb to hurt. Its all I've ever been use to. When you've been hurt for so long....nothing hurts you"
 May 2018 david snyder
EBTI
Depression shall not get the best of you
Between all of the colors, you chose blue
Tell me what makes you happy if I couldn’t do
All of the books and paper, i wish I could listen to you
You are cutting your wings and I am gluing  them on
With me or with out me, you are going to be strong
If my poems and I didn’t stand tall
We’ll fall with you but, surely later we will catch on
We will crush all of your sad feelings,
We will crush them all
Only sunshine baby, even if your sky was blue
And I am here for you!
Despite the screaming in my head,
The tears in my eyes
"I'm fine..."
Is what I said
"I'll be there in a few minutes..."
Then I put down the phone
And ran into the street
My suicide
"An accident" they'll say
The perfect plan.

The average person lies four times a day,
The most common lie is
"I'm fine"

I nvisible
'
M arred
F ucked
I nsecure
N uerotic
E mpty
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